Saturday, December 31, 2011

This is why I love Tim Roth

Ok, readers. I know what you're thinking: two posts in one night! Well we all know you blog to procrastinate so you must have something important to do. What is it you're avoiding doing now, Captain? Well readers, here's the truth. I have to get up early tomorrow. I'm going skiing with my "Brothers from another mother" (<------- anti-swag). I'm not ready to hit the hay just yet, though, and I think I want to end the year 2011 with a post about one of my very favorite actors, Sexy Saturday Alumnus Tim Roth

For those of you who are not familiar with this super talented actor, allow me to fill you in on who he is. Tim Roth is a British actor that does lots of movies about people that lived in the time-era where powdered wigs were cool. 

yeah buddy.
You may have seen him in Rob Roy, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead, or the (once popular) TV show Lie to Me. He was also in Pulp Fiction, and my very favorite movie Reservoir Dogs. I'll do everyone a favor and put a face to the name: 

So obviously I much adore this actor for his talent, his looks (*drool*), and his apparent swagger. But recently I joined the Twitter, and naturally he was one of the first people I chose to follow. I was pleasantly surprised to find that he is extremely friendly, engaging, and just 100% AWESOME to his fans! Not only does he share regular "Nighty-night" tweets (Swoon), but he also posts pictures of his pets and himself. 99% Huggage from Tim Roth? Yes Please. 
It actually just occurs to me that loads of celebrities probably do this... I mostly just follow the NHL and my favorite hockey players so I wouldn't really know. But as far as I'm concerned, Tim Roth is awesome and the fact that he loves his fans makes him that much cooler. 

He has a cat named Sid. This man is adorable.

So I suppose this post has been a celebration of Rothiness. And so it goes. :) 

El Capitain out! 



Friday, December 30, 2011


Lately I've been thinking about things that I actually love. I'll make a sample list. 

Things that El Capitain Actually LOVES.

  1. My Sweatpants. 
  2. My Horse.
  3. My Family. 
  4. My Hockey Team. 
  5. My (best) Friends. 
  6. Last August. 
  7. Adventures. 
  8. Perfume. 
  9. Romance Sleeping.
  10. Movies.      

Which movies make it onto the 'Love' list? Reservoir Dogs, King Kong, Inglourious Basterds, to name a few.
Well this year for Christmas my mother gave my dad the movie Hanna as a gift. And let me tell you, this movie actually might have a spot on that list of movie-love.

As a matter of fact, the more I think about this movie, the more I like it and the more I want to see it again. In my humble opinion, this movie was fabulously directed, the cinematography was out-of-this-world gorgeous, and the soundtrack was haunting and suiting. 

  As a short summary, this movie is about a young girl named Hanna who is raised in isolation by her father. Every day of Hanna's life is training, and by the time she is 14 years old, Hanna is a killing machine; nimble, strong, fast, and smart.

Since I encourage everybody that is reading this review to go and watch this movie, I refuse to give out even the slightest spoilers. But take it from me, Hanna is a bit like the Bourne movies with a twist. 

Part of the film's shock value comes from the character Hanna herself. Hanna is a beautiful fourteen year old girl with the face of innocence. It is shocking at the beginning of the film to find a blue-eyed girl standing over a dying Caribou and saying "I missed your heart".

Hanna redefines tough-girl, and her journey across Europe is stunningly beautiful and an absolute joy to watch. This film is a glorious mix of action, stellar beauty, intrigue, and contains an enjoyable soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers. 

Cordoba, Spain. I've been there! Though I do not recall a German in a yellow track suit sitting on the hood of a car.

Might I also add, This film also stars Eric Bana. Who we all know is very cute

I believe the appropriate girly caption for this photo would be "adorbs" or something like that.

I suppose the only sort of "flaw" this movie has is the some-what weak storyline. But I don't think anyone will be picking the simple story apart because they're too busy admiring how well this film was put together. 

I believe this is why we all envy blondes.
Yesterday I was crying over a sore heart. I endured an emotional sucker punch and I haven't been handling it very well. My father said to me that I need to have a little more Hanna in me. I suppose he's right, maybe I should. Maybe we all should. 

I missed your heart.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Finals have RUINED me!

Readers, I have come to a realization...

My Blog is smut.


Yes, really. 

I can't even remember the last time I talked about movies. Lately there have just been a whole bunch of posts like this:

Look at me, I'm Ryan Gosling! I'm adorable and the object of your sexual fantasies! CHECK IT OUT I'm in a bathtub!

I know most of you aren't complaining, but really this is quite ridiculous and I'm sure I've driven all my male readers away.

I'm sorry! Please come back! D:

To make matters even worse, I forgot to wish everyone a happy Thanks Giving! 

I really need to pull my act together.

But the truth is I am a Unavertute Universety University Student, and I am supposed to be studying for finals... But in reality I'm just dying a slow and painful death surrounded by textbooks and scrap paper. I've forgotten what it's like to sleep. 
So I'll tell you what. After Finals are done, perhaps sometime in the New Year, I shall return and bring you all posts about Movies. With of course weekly Sexy Saturdays. And sometimes those super hot "Cure for the Mondays" posts. 


Christoph Waltz approves.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Ode to Mustaches

Today is the last day of 

And all I have to say is Thank God.
Because THIS: 
is not attractive. 
And no matter how great the cause, this: 
mo money mo bitches!
Will never fly in my books. 

So men, buy a razor and watch as your girlfriend magically reappears into your life. We love you, we love the cause, but the 'stache has got to go. 

A Brief Look at Terrible Movie Mustaches
Channing Tatum + Greasy Cop 'Stache = YEUCH.
NO! D:

El Capitain OUT!

That's f*cking disgusting.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Denis Leary visited me last night?

Readers, I didn't sleep very well last night. I've been so stressed and anxious that I had the hardest time falling asleep. The second I managed to doze off my phone rang, and when I checked the text message I got really confused... an old friend sent me a shirtless picture of himself. Uh... thanks?

Nice abs, but I can think of someone who wouldn't really approve of this. Now it's past midnight, get your ass to bed, child. 

What we're going to talk about today is what happened after I did manage to fall asleep. Readers, I'm going to tell you all about the messed up dream I had. 

It was a Cross-Canada Adventure!

My dream started off normal enough. For the past month I've been having recurring dreams of myself traveling to a particular destination. Though it's different every time and I never manage to fully arrive. Last night I found myself on an airplane sitting next to a guy that looked like this: 

Apparently our plane was headed for Vancouver, Canada which is not where I wanted to go. I got into the most ridiculous discussion with this guy, and learned that he was a student. Suddenly, just like magic, I was in Ontario. I found myself wandering around a city at night and ended up in a convenience store. I ended up talking the the cashier, who I had apparently met before on a previous trip. We chatted like old pals and suddenly I was in a different location. At this point in my dream I was very frustrated because I knew I was far from my destination, which I have never been able to attain in previous dreams. I was in a University and ran out a random door, thinking I knew where it would take me. That's when I found myself in a maze. The grass was green and the brick walls of the maze were very tall and I couldn't see past them. I began wandering around even though a voice behind me yelled at me to turn around, I was headed for disaster. I found a dead end with a bed. I found that very odd and approached it. Suddenly I had fallen down a hole and this is when my dream gets seriously messed. I had fallen into an underground cave system. You know, exactly like the one from The Descent. Great. 

 The idea was that there had been a lot of people in this cave, but they had been picked off by scary cave-dwelling monsters, like these: 

And here's the fun part: a couple of cops had found their way to the cave, to investigate the disappearance of all these people. The cop in my dream? Denis Leary. 
WTF are you doing in my dream??? D:
You may recognize Denis Leary from the popular show Rescue Me. He also does those Ford Commercials. Last but not least, He does the voice of Diego in Ice Age

I'm in your head. Messin' with your dreams.
Of course he had a side kick. My subconscious contributed to that well over-used "White Cop with Black Sidekick" story line. 

Exhibit A 
Exhibit B
Exhibit C

So what happened was Denis Leary and his Sidekick found a giant pit of wax. Leary accidentally fell in and that's when he found that the wax pool was filled with dead bodies. 

My subconscious is messed

Of course the two cops were then attacked by cave dwelling monsters and I woke up at 4:30am wondering what the hell I was doing dreaming about Denis Leary and pools of wax with dead bodies preserved inside.  

But why Denis Leary??? 

Hey Leary, I'm a Bruins fan too! ...
...Or a Marchand fan. Don't judge.

According to Cosmopolitan magazine, we associate dreaming of celebrities with being fawned over. So maybe I'm just in need of some TLC and my brain decided to set me up with Mr. Leary. 

Rothy was booked solid and couldn't do Sunday night.

Now, according to, this is what my dream "means": 
"To see wax in your dream indicates that there is too much activity going on in your life. There is too much chaos going on. You need to slow down and take a breather." 

"To see or be in a grocery or convenience store in your dream suggests that you are emotionally and mentally strained." 

GASP. How did they know???

This isn't far from the truth, as I've been complaining of stress and anxiety since the 17th.
Well then. Isn't that fun. Go to and decode your dream! :) 

Maybe Denis Leary will visit you sometime soon! 

 El Capitain OUT!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Happy Birthday, Sharlto Copley!

Guess what, guys? Sexy Saturday alumnus Sharlto Copley turns 38 today! 


Yes, this is him. No, you will never witness anything more adorable.

So Sharlto Copley is the cutest ever.

But what else makes him awesome? Well everything about him is likable. Literally, everything. There is not one aspect of Mr. Copley that we don't adore here at the Cinema Club. Except maybe that he isn't in more movies. 

For every problem there is a solution.
 But what is is about Sharlto Copley that we all adore so much? Everyone seems to agree that he is immensely talented, very funny, friendly, and just so freakin' cute


One of my favorite things about Mr. Copley is how interactive he is with his fans. If you visit his Facebook, you'll see that he is incredible friendly and interactive with his fans, often using fanart for his profile pictures, and commenting on things that people post on his page. How awesome is that? He shows us that one can be a talented, successful actor and still be a friendly approachable human being. Really Sharlto, kudos to you. 

Top 3 Reasons why Today's Birthday Boy is Amazing  

  1. He possesses wells of talent. He gives us the tortured soul routine in District 9, then turns around and makes us all laugh out loud with his red carpet gags and his performance in A-Team.
  2. He is super friendly and interacts with his fans on a regular basis.  Not only does he post behind the scenes photos of the movies he does, but he uses some his fan's artwork as his profile picture and comments on the rest.
  3. He is incredibly classy and proper. You never see him in trashy celebrity magazines and he's never been arrested.  

So, Happy Birthday Sharlto Copley! You are amazing and talented and your fans all love you very much. Keep up the good work!

(A little something we would all like to give you)

El Capitain OUT!


Monday, November 21, 2011

Mondays SUCK/ The Cinema Club's 2nd Sexiest Entry Ever

Mondays suck. They do. Lately I've been experiencing the most crazy whirlwind of emotions. The final result, after a week of this incomprehensible madness, I am left feeling anxious, a little bit sore, and (PREPARE FOR DRAMA) teetering on the brink of depressionDun-dun-DUNN!

  (Artwork by Liol)

Well, if you recall last Monday's entry, I came up with a solution to this problem. How does one cure a case of the Mondays? With hot men of course. So as a follow up to The Cinema Club's Sexiest Post Ever, I'd like to bring to you yet another disgustingly brilliant collage of gorgeous men in minimal clothing. 

But it feels so good...!

Ok, readers, heeere we goooo!

PS: Probably NSFW.

DISCLAIMER: The Cinema Club is not responsible for any shortness of breath, inability to breathe, heart palpitations, and/or dizziness and disorientation. Furthermore, the Cinema Club is not responsible for your inability to contain yourself and therefore cannot be held accountable for you coming all over your pants and/or couch. Also, the Cinema Club cannot be deemed responsible for any rash decision you may make after experiencing the utter sexiness of this blog, including (but not limited to) public exposure, sleeping with random strangers, the stalking and/or pursuing of any of the following celebrities. As a final disclaimer, the Cinema Club would like to warn readers that the following men are incredibly sexy and likely will cause heart palpitations, dizziness, and shortness of breath.  


Remember to breathe ;)