Happy Birthday to Us

I believe it was around this time, one year ago, that The Cinema Club was born.

That makes us One Year Old.

So we're having a little birthday party. Because really, here at the Cinema Club, we'll take any excuse to party. And so far it's been great. We've invited all Sexy Saturday alumni, and they've brought stacks of gifts. 

Timmy put on a floral apron and baked the cake

 

Russell Crowe brought whipped cream and he and Jamie Bell got into a whipped cream fight. Both of them are completely covered. Meanwhile, Spike Lee is the DJ and Ryan Gosling is sitting in the bathtub. 

Hey, girl. Care to join me?

We've got lots of alcohol here at The Cinema Club office, and it's getting pretty hot in here. Thomas Kretschmann and I wanted to do tequila shots, but Jason Statham tried to talk us out of it, because he was DD for the night and he didn't want anyone to puke in his sporty car. Thomas and I replied with: 

and proceeded to do shots. Next thing we knew Gerard Butler yelled "THIS IS SPARTA!" and accidentally kicked Jamie Bell out the window. We had to go collect him off the sidewalk and he was less than pleased. 

I am most displeased.

 

To make it up to him, we had Gerard Butler give him a cupcake and then everything was ok. Meanwhile, Wayne Knight showed up because he heard there would be food, and Jerry got pretty pissed. 

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

So I had to have a little chit chat with security and find out why on Earth they'd let Wayne Knight into our party. Then Rutger Hauer started playing drinking games with Gosling, and Toby Maguire was trying to see which of the female guests would actually believe he is a doctor. Things were getting a little bit out of hand, but all was interrupted when Timmy accidentally burnt the cake. So Wayne was all: 

JESUS. There won't be any cake!!!

But Tim just says: 

Fuck you I followed the recipe.

So Wayne puts on the floral apron and takes Timmy's place in the kitchen. We all wait at the table like: 

As we're waiting for the cake, Ryan Gosling asks if anybody would like to play spin the bottle and I'm like: 

Then Timmy gets a little too excited and looks at Gary Oldman like: 

Gary Oldman Let's DO IT.

But then Wayne Knight finished the cake and everyone just devours it like this: 

We've hardly finished our cake when Gary Oldman decides he wants to take Timmy up on his offer. So as they're making out on the table all our male guests are like: 

So we move over to the next room and decide to do more shots. Liam Neeson ends up drinking everyone under the table and by 3am we're all pretty exhausted. So Jason Statham, our DD, gets everyone in the car and we leave the Cinema Club office in style. 

 

They see us rollin', they hatin'. 

But before we go home we stop at a Tim Horton's joint and drink hot chocolate in our inebriated state. Rutger Hauer looks especially adorable. 

  

Timmy Tuesday: Bromance

Yes, I am in fact sticking with these Timmy Tuesday shenanigans. Weekly Tim Roth posts are just far too good to resist. I can almost guarantee that after a month or two of Timmy Tuesdays, all you non-believers will be converted Rothy fans. This week's topic is: 

Bromance. 

Because there are few things more awesome than a good old fashioned bromance. 

And believe it or not, Rothy has the whole bromance thing nailed. He does it almost as good as Boston Bruins Brad Marchand and Tyler Seguin.

Death by cuteness!

  

Now as we know, Tim Roth is pretty much BFFs with Gary Oldman. In relation to Marchand and Seguin, Tim is Brad (they have the same freakin' nose) and Gary is Tyler. 

Bromance: You're doing it right.

There is a photo we encountered on the Tim Roth Sexy Saturday that we love here at the Cinema Club. In this photo Tim wrote Gary a note. On his forehead. View below: 

 

 

Well guess what, folks? Gary wrote him a note back.

Waow. 

 

Fangirl Pandemonium!

So that's pretty darn cute. I like putting the two photos side by side. 

When Tim found out Gary thinks he's sexy this was his reaction:

♥

Tim and Gary fans are currently experiencing cuteness overload. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is in awe at Timmy's awesome shirt in the above photo. Although Rothy saves his best bromancing for Gary, he does share his adorableness with other men aswell. 

 

"Bromance really should be a facebook status"

Oh, I love you Tim.

-Captain

Newsies! We're on the Youtube now?

Dear Readers, so my Tequila week has gotten back on track, thanks of course to last night. Before I get into that, I'd like to mention that The Cinema Club is now on Youtube. Here is a link to our channel: Clicky this Link to go to the Youtube! Unfortunately, the channel is extremely boring at this moment and there aren't any videos to watch. Yet. 

 

Right. So I'd like to mention all the shenanigans I got into last night, as it was ever so much fun. But since this is a movie blog, I must avoid the personal anecdotes as much as possible. So I cleverly mashed Movies and Tequila Night together and created a video to share with you all. So here it is: 

The Story of my Night, Cleverly Retold via Movie Clips

 

Now that I'm all partied out, I'm ready to just eat popcorn, play video games, and watch movies with my brother and our two cats. What's this? I have 3 novels to read for my English class? SHHHHHHHHH!

Shush your mouth, we're on vacation.

ALSO, the Oscars are on Sunday and there isn't a hockey game that day, so I will be able to watch the awards from start to finish. 

OSCARS!

Regulars here at the Cinema Club will be attending the Oscars on the 26th. We'll be looking out for George Clooney (as per usual) and Gary Oldman, as they are both nominated for best actor in a Leading Role. 

Furthermore, Tintin has been nominated for Original score and I am entirely disgusted that it hasn't been nominated for Animated Feature. Seriously, who was smoking enough crack to not nominate Tin-freakin'-tin for best animated feature??? Uhhhg.

Drive, which was just previously "reviewed" by the Cinema Club (psst, scroll down!) has been nominated for Sound Editing.

I'm looking forward to seeing Ryan Gosling on the red carpet. And I'm crossing my fingers that Tim Roth will decide to make an appearance. Meanwhile, I am extremely hungry and this post ends now.        

Newsies! important matters that must be discussed.

38 thousand views will soon be upon us.

Yes. Really.

Let's talk about important matters.

1.) My favorite hockey team lost last night ...again... and I'm ready to wail in despair. It's like my own personal apocalypse. If this shit keeps up, this is going to be me: 

   

 

2. It's really freakin' cold outside. The kind of cold that makes you cough and freezes fingers off. The kind of cold that only real Canadians can withstand.

3. Tim Roth, Jamie Bell, and Gary Oldman were all in Milan together and I don't know why. Though after running a brief Google search, I figure they're in Milan for... a modeling gig??? 

Yep. That's right. They're modeling Prada.

For the longest time I'd see Jamie Bell and Tim Roth tweeting about Milan. Rothy is an avid TwitPic-er so every morning I'd have to look at pictures like these: 

While I froze my ass off in conditions like these: 

Hullo? Anybody dere? Cannot see, snow too thick. Steve? Dat you? No, just frozen penguin.

^ What I see when I look out my window.

 But then Tim Roth tweets a Photo like this: 

Jamie Bell on the left.

And I feel like this:

Toasty.

The fact that Tim Roth is taking pictures of Jamie Bell is just so.... *flail*

 

 ^This was me when I discovered the two were in Milan together. 

Fangirl Pandemonium. 

Then Jamie Bell kept going on about a "Motley Group of Bastards" and I assume that by that he is referring to the Pretty Boy Squad that went to Milan to model Prada.

So there you have it, The Cinema Club Newsies. Lets recap on what we've learned today:

1. My hockey team makes me cry.  (But I still love them).

Look what they've done to me.

2. Canada is cold. Especially the part I live in.

Streets are buried under  6 feet of snow. Walk dog on roof.

3. Jamie Bell and Tim Roth joined up with Gary Oldman and Adrian Brody (and some other dudes) in Milan and had good times while modeling Prada clothing.

Epic Brodeo.

I think that perhaps the Evil Gnomes that got together and created The Grey with the sole perpose to scare the living daylights out of me felt bad and decided to do something nice. So they said:

Evil Gnome #1: Rothy and Jamie, go forth to Milan to model atrociously expensive clothing.  

Evil Gnome #2:Take pictures of each other and put them out in the Twitterverse. Your bromancing will bring forth Merriment and glee to El Capitain. 

Evil Gnome #3: She has recently reached the all-time low of buying a second-hand sweater and wearing her sweatpants in public. You must bring joy into her life. 

Evil Gnome #1: Milan is the prefect stage for Bromance Merriment.

Evil Gnome #2: Gary Oldman should tag along too.

Evil Gnome #3: This is our best idea yet.

The Cinema Club's sexiest entry... Ever???

So today has been kind of a bad day. I've mentioned earlier that I'm having a very bad hair day. I also humiliated myself in German Class, when my cellphone (which features an atrocious Peewee Herman ringtone) went off in the middle of an exam. And on top of it all, it's Monday. So I started thinking, whats a surefire way to cheer yourself up when you're feeling blue? Well that's easy: SEXY MEN. (Sorry, male audience, but you're SOL today!). So this entry is for are for all you Women and Gay Men out there who are having a miserable Monday. I can guarantee by the end of this post you'll either be blasting tunes like this or looking at me and saying something along these lines: 

Oh, PS: Try to keep your panties on. 

DISCLAIMER: The Cinema Club is not responsible for any shortness of breath, inability to breath, heart palpitations, and/or dizziness and disorientation. Furthermore, the Cinema Club is not responsible for your inability to contain yourself and therefore cannot be held accountable for you coming all over your pants and/or couch. Also, the Cinema Club cannot be deemed responsible for any rash decision you may make after experiencing the utter sexiness of this blog, including (but not limited to) public exposure, sleeping with random strangers, the stalking and/or pursuing of any of the following celebrities. As a final disclaimer, the Cinema Club would like to warn readers that the following men are incredibly sexy and likely will cause heart palpitations, dizziness, and shortness of breath.  

<3

You can breathe now! ;)