Top 10 Hottest Actresses

So apparently I'm feeling the girl-love or something, thanks to the last 30 day challenge post about Milla Jovovich. Plus, this blog isn't exactly very friendly to my male readers. Day in and day out they have to listen to crap like 

Oooo! Tim Roth! Oooo! Thomas Kretschmann dressed as a sailor! OMAGAD Christoph Waltz!

And that's probably very exhausting. So I'm going to do something VERY un-me-like and publish a Top 10 List of what I consider Hollywood's Hottest Babes. And this is a pretty big deal. I don't usually do the whole GIRL POWER! thing. But I realized that I have 2 very good girlfriends. I actually got to go out dancing with one last night. It was an opportunity to do each other's makeup and trash talk heart breaking bastards. After an hour and a half we pretty much transformed into this: 

So now, without any further ado:
Hollywood's Top 10 Hottest Actresses

10.

Isabella Leong

I saw this chick in the 3rd Mummy movie and I was like: Damn. She's Cute. Isabella Leong actually has a bitchin' name that makes be a bit jealous. Her full name is Luisa Isabella Nolasco Da Silva. That's an awesome name. That's the kind of name some smokin' hot babe with smoldering eyes in 1886 would have. Yeah, you know the type. Long black hair, likely wears a hoop skirt, may or may not run a boarding house and fraternize with Cabellos on a regular basis. I'm getting off-topic. This chick is actually Chinese. So there are no Southern California Boarding houses anywhere near her and that's the most un-Asian name I can think of. She speaks English, Mandarin, and Cantonese.  

9.

Sandra Bullock 

She's gorgeous in an unconventional sort of way. And you have to love her because she's so adorable. She seems like a really nice woman, someone that would make a good mom. I suspect my father may or may not have a bit of a "crush" on her. And for good reasons, she looks a lot like my mom did in her younger days. Bullock has been in a whole swack of movies. From Speed to The Blindside and a whole lot in between.    

8.

Jennifer Lawrence

 After seeing Winter's Bone, I have a whole lot of respect for this actress. She played a fantastic character and her acting is phenomenal. And of course she's gorgeous. And since she's gorgeous, she did a whole bunch of skanky photoshoots that we don't approve of here at the cinema club. Though she's 5'7 and rumored to be around 125 lbs. We like that at the cinema club (therefore the healthy body cancels out the nude photos). We do not believe in stick thin sickly bitches and Jennifer Lawrence proves that one can be over 120 lbs and still look smokin' hot. How can you not love her long blonde hair and blue eyes? She's an all-American sweetheart and she's very cool. Jennifer will be in that Hunger Games movie coming out soon, so get excited.   

7.

Catherine Zeta Jones

Is it even fair that one woman should be allowed to possess so much gorgeousness all to herself? This welsh Goddess has the looks and the curves that every man would drool over. I really enjoyed watching her performance in the Zorro movies. Catherine Zeta Jones is 5'6" of beauty. She's not stick thin or fakey looking. She's a natural beauty and pretty much defines femininity. 

6.

Irène Jacob

 She's FRENCH. Need I say more? (I know I don't but I will anyways). I saw her in Trois Couleurs: Rouge in Film Class and thought she was just gorgeous. She looks a bit like Kate Beckinsdale (or however you spell it). Her beauty is classic and timeless and she's universally attractive. There are a lot of pictures of her without any make up, or with very natural makeup, and she still looks gorgeous! Clicky Here! And here! And also here! 

5.

Liv Tyler

It's Liv freakin' Tyler. She's gorgeous. She has a aura of gentleness about her. I think everyone loved her as Arwen in The Lord of the Ring. I think it's super awesome that she has fair skin, dark hair and blue eyes. There aren't a lot of us out there! I really like this actress. She's talented, she's beautiful, and she seems humble. You never see her in those trashy celebrity magazines.  

4.

 Melanie Laurent

 Melanie Laurent is hot hot hot! If I could look like another chick I think I'd want to look like her. She's French (she was born in Paris), and you would have seen her in Inglourious Basterds (a really amazing movie). She also sings, so you can say she's pretty damn talented. Laurent is also Jewish, so her role in Inglourious Basterds was pretty much perfect for her. She is a strong, beautiful Parisian woman, and she is coated in the female equivalent of Swag Sauce (glitter?).   

3.

Brandon Merrill

 I really like this chick. I've seen her in one movie: Shanghai Noon. She played Jackie Chan's freakin' cool Indian wife. She was born in Colorado and raised on a ranch in Wyoming, then she was signed as a model. So her role in Shanghai Noon is her only acting job. But her gorgeous face is all over the internet because of her modeling. Check out this photo. 

2.

Michelle Pfeiffer

 JEEBUS. She's GORGEOUS. Her face is pretty much the epitome of perfect. Not to mention she has a smokin hot bod and you'd never guess she's in her 50's. What the hell, seriously. I love this chick. She's awesome. She looks like perfection and having a face like her's is pretty much like having the world on a plate. And the thing is, she's crazy gorgeous but its impossible to hate her for her looks. She just seems like a really nice person. Dear Michelle, we love you, but please share some of your gorgeous with the rest of us.

1.

Milla Jovovich

Favesies. I love this actress like a fat kid loves cake. Milla is a Ukrainian born Supermodel that is 100% drool-worthy. She has this super hot sort of husky voice and gorgeous green eyes. Now let's talk about her body. OMG her body. She's the only woman that makes skin and bones look good. She's 5'8 and close to 120 lbs. She sings, and her voice is AMAZING. She is also a fashion designer. Goodness, woman! On top of all of that she is a mom and an actress. Hot hot hot! If the opportunity to live in her body for any amount of time was given, I'd be like:

~FIN~

I hate the fact that I wrote this article while wearing sweatpants with two cats keeping me company. What did I have for breakfast? A pizza pretzel coated in hot sauce and hot chocolate with a scoop of icecream mixed in. *Sigh*. I feel so un-classy. Well, Male readers, this one was for you. You're Welcome.

Day 7 - A Film That Reminds You of Your Past

I have the perfect answer for this Topic, but unfortunately its a little bit touchy. But its such a perfect match-up that I have to use it. So today's 30 Day Challenge topic is "A Film that Reminds you of your past". Hm. Well readers, the film that I have chosen is Stealing Beauty. 

I've been meaning to review this movie since 2011, since it's touched me rather deeply, but I just haven't been able to write anything right. I suppose the time has come, and for the sake of the 30 Day Challenge, I'm going to do it!

Huzzah!

Stealing Beauty (1996) stars Liv Tyler as nineteen year old Lucy. Lucy travels on her own to Italy to visit family friends in a Tuscan Villa. Lucy has two main motives for her travels: 
1.) To try to find out who her real father is.
2.) To meet up with the boy she fell in love with a few years before.

A few months ago I traveled alone, and my trip went exactly like Lucy's for the longest time. We both flew on a plane, took a train, and rode in taxi cabs to get to our destination. 

This touches my heart directly and honestly takes me right back to my own travels. I listened to the Stealing Beauty soundtrack on my adventure.

The soundtrack. 

Oh god, it's so good. 

I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to it again, thus my broken heart, but the soundtrack is so, so, so good. 

I remember sitting on a passenger train in the nighttime, my head pressed against the dark window with 2 Wicky playing softly in my earbuds. Oh, life.     

So this movie is incredibly beautiful. It covers happiness, loss, confusion, sadness, all of it. And of course Liv Tyler is incredibly beautiful and even if you're a straight female Liv is still immensely enjoyable to watch. Although this film doesn't leave you feeling fulfilled or happy, it is a beautiful movie sporting gorgeous cinematography and an enjoyable soundtrack. Obviously I recommend it. 

 

Boys, not convinces? 

You get to see Rachel Weisz naked.

-Captain

Bad Hair Days

Readers, today I am experiencing the worst hair day of my LIFE. Worse than the day it had blue streaks. Worse than the time I got the ends stuck in the hairdryer. Worse than that day I dyed it blonde and cut my own bangs and that really cute guy laughed when he saw me. Yes, it's pretty damn bad. Usually, my hair looks like this: 

Cool hair, Brah

But today.... today my hair looks like Ke$ha was raped by a rooster and decided to keep the baby. Its bad. But it got me thinking... what were some of the worst hair styles we've seen in movie history? Let us investigate... 

Leeloo in The Fifth Element

Sure, Milla Jovovich is gorgeous and Orange is the best color known to man, but her hair... no. Just no. Her orange dreadlocks were atrocious. So Leeloo, you're amazing, adorable, and you can kick some ass. But the orange hair just didn't fly.

Rachel in Blade Runner 

Sure, Rachel has a pretty face. But the hair... its like some kind of messed up sculpture. And that's when it was styled. Later in the film she does us all a favor and takes it out of that strange bun-thing and goes natural. She became the epitome of Floofy 80's hair! 

Apparently Harrison Ford likes she-fros.

Jacob in Twilight

So I probably have a hoard of Fangirls screeching their hatred for me now. BUT SERIOUSLY. Flowing man-locks that resemble Fabio are a MAJOR No-no! Jacob looks much better once he gets himself a trim. Ladies, please stop crying and yelling at me through your computer screen. You're only embarrassing yourselves. And while we're on the topic of Fabio... 

L- O- f*cking- L! 

Queen Amidala in Star Wars

WTF IS ON HER HEAD??? Oh wait, that's just her hair. Seriously, WTF? Don't you think she'd end up with some kind of spinal problems with head pieces like that? Say, Spinal Compression? What if she fell over and couldn't get back up? Who would run the galaxy then? Can you imagine being next to her if she turned her head really fast? Imagine getting hair slapped by one of them galactic pig-tails! 

You'd end up with one of these.

 Anton Chigurh in No Country For Old Men

Fantastic movie, terrible hair. I think that perhaps this villain could be even more terrifying (it's possible???) if he had a more bad-ass haircut. Because really, I think I knew a kid in Kindergarten who had hair like this. He was in your Kindergarten class too. The one that was a frequent user of the "emergency pants" and used his own body parts in show-and-tell. I believe he was also commonly spotted sitting alone in the corner talking to himself.

John McClane in Live Free or Die Hard

I can check my reflection by looking at his head!

Oh wait. Bruce Willis doesn't have any hair.

David Wooderson in Dazed and Confused

FYI this is Matthew Mcconaughey.

It doesn't get any greasier than this, folks. He must have been dazed and confused when he decided to grown that pencil mustache and style his hair like that. Would you trust a guy with a face and hair like that enough to get in his car? Didn't think so. 

Mugatu in Zoolander

 

This is so ridiculous it really does just take the cake. No words, man. No Words. 

I actually saw someone at a club this Halloween dressed as Mugatu. It was hilarious! Then he hit on my friend's boyfriend and that really just made my evening.

And thus concludes the Cinema Club's investigation on BAD MOVIE HAIR. 

Mama used dem clippers again D:

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an atrocious mess on my head that needs fixing... 

MUST. FIX. DISASTER. !!!

El Capitain OUT!

The Incredible Hulk

Though I never read comic books, I've always gotten a sense of joy from watching movies based on Marvel Comics! Think: Iron man, Spider man, the Hulk, etc. I think there's something so wonderful to be found from something that cheesy. So today, I think it would be fun to discuss The Incredible Hulk (2008). 

The Incredible Hulk, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, and, GASP, Tim Roth (!) is pretty much a re-do of Hulk (2003), starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly and sam Elliott. The Incredible Hulk (TIH), follows more or less the same story line, where Bruce Banner (in this case played by Edward Norton) is exposed to gamma radiation in an experiment gone wrong (or "very right", according to the general). What does this gamma radiation do to Mr. Banner, you may ask? Well, whenever his pulse gets racing at 200bpm, he turns into the giant green monster we all know as THE HULK! 

HULK IS ANGRY

  Now, the aspect of this film that I truly admire, is that they cast an actor that I really like LOVE: Tim Roth! Tim Roth plays Emil Blonsky, a soldier that, in my humble opinion, is suffering a bit of a mid-life Crisis ... at the age of 39. So when he's offered the chance to become a super soldier, Blonsky accepts. And awesome stuff like this starts to happen:

yummy. 

But like almost every villain in the history of movies, Blonsky keeps wanting MORE. To the point where he doesn't mind becoming a nasty looking harbinger of death, otherwise known as "The Abomination". 

From HOT...

...To NOT

Aside from Blonsky's major Faux-Pas, I found this movie to be very entertaining, in several aspects. Not only does it include explosions, the destruction of a chunk of NYC, lots of men running around in uniforms and guns, PLUS a decent story, but it also hosts a cute little love story. Although Edward Norton is not a Stud-muffin, he is pretty darn cute.  

I'll take Norton over Patty's Derp Face any day!

  

 If you throw super-babe Liv Tyler into the mix, things go places pretty fast (if you catch my drift). 

You Know you're jealous.

Now there's a movie couple I give a THUMBS UP. 

All in all, I'd say that TIH is an enjoyable film that's worth watching. Just don't expect a super serious, hard-core action packed, blood n gore extravaganza. TIH is a bit cheesy, and is geared towards younger fans that get a kick out of "HULK SMAAASSSHHHH!!!" 

But It's a film that I've seen multiple times, and will continue to watch. 

The Hulk and Betty discussing how much they love King Kong?

El Capitain OUT!