10 Movie Scenes that make me laugh like an idiot

Readers, I have been in the strangest mood these past few days! 

Yes, really. 

I'm honestly feeling probably every single emotion known to man all at once! It feels a bit like this: 

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON INSIDE MY BRAIN???

I won't go into details... (one must remain mysterious on the internet), but allow me to perform a simple mathematical equation, to help you understand. (Because here at the Cinema Club, we're all gifted mathematicians!) 

*ahem*

1adventure x 3(24) + cute boy x airplanes = happiness/stress = confused + hockey + Cheeky Finn = happy + Tim Hortons x chocolate + fluffy kitty = glee - lack of texting(2) = depressed. √depression = 5. 5(-1[cold weather]) + belly ache = misery - 1200mg Advil + T3 + ponies = 

A VERY ODD MOOD.  ✓

My math is immaculate.

Now, my best friend Parachutefan would recommend drinking tea. According to her, tea fixes everything. Yeah, she sounds like a Tetley Commercial. I personally think that the best way to overcome any sort of bad mood is by laughing. So here I have compiled a list of 10 movie scenes that make me laugh. Like a crazy person. 

Hilarity ensues.

The following clips are in no particular order.

 Enjoy.  

10. Daddy would you like some sausages?

From Freddy Got Fingered

 Now, I've never actually seen Tom Green's Freddy Got Fingered, but back in High School a guy in my class was playing this scene on his computer. And was giggling. Uncontrollably. I asked to see what he was looking at, and... well... I started laughing too. This clip always cracks me up. Like, hardcore cracks me up. I don't know what it is about a bunch of sausages hanging from strings and a very poorly played keyboard that's so funny, but it just works. PS: I think this scene is almost funnier if you've never seen the movie. Because we have no idea what the hell is going on. And it's hilarious.  

 

9. Dug's Squirrel Joke

From UP

"HA! It is funny because the squirrel is dead!"

Priceless.

8. I'm in a glass case of emotion!

From Anchorman

I love the movie Anchorman. It had me laughing from start to finish. This particular scene, where Ron Burgundy is bawling in a telephone booth after his dog, Baxter, was punted off a bridge by none other than Jack Black- is particularly hysterical. "I hit him with a burrito!" and "I'M TRAPPED IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!" It doesn't get any better than that. 

(The extended clip is available here: [Link])

7. She took a nosedive from the Ugly Tree

From Saving Private Ryan

Alright, so we all know that Sexy Saturday alumnus Matt Damon is adorable. And he is also very funny. And his laugh? Oh his laugh is contagious! He laughs and smiles, and you can't help but laugh and smile with him. This particular scene from Spielberg's masterpiece Saving Private Ryan is very well written and well acted. It is more or less impossible to watch this scene without at least cracking a smile.

6. I just couldn't get the ball in the hole!

From Happy Gilmore

Happy Gilmore is one of my favorite movies, and easily my favorite Adam Sandler flick. I think this scene is exceptionally comical. I don't beat people up often at all... but when the next opportunity rolls around, I'm doing it like this. 

5. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of Elderberries!
From Monty Python and the Holy Grail

So Monty Python is hilarious, and this entire film had us all in stitches. But I believe it is the insulting Frenchmen that really take the cake. FECHER LA VACHE! 

4. The Printer Smash Scene

From Office Space

Does this look familiar to anyone? Hmm? Even if you haven't seen Office Space, you've probably seen this before. In that episode of Family Guy when Brian and Stewie destroy Peter's Surfin' Bird Record. I find the whole drama of this scene to be particularly funny and very well done. And I'm almost positive all of us have wanted to do that to a printer before. Because as we know, Printers are Brats.

3. Tom Cruise's dance

From Tropic Thunder

If you've seen Tropic Thunder, you know that every line out of Tom Cruise's mouth was insanely profane, atrocious and outright hilarious. But it was the final scene of the movie, when Tom Cruise gets gets his groove on, that had me in stitches. It was because of this movie (and this scene in particular) that I now respect Tom Cruise. Best. Performance. Ever. 

2. HEY! There are skittles in there!

From The Hangover

My inner dude comes out when I say that I thought The Hangover was heeelariouuuss. During my High School Graduation Ceremony, the calculus teacher actually [slightly] modified Alan's One Man Wolf Pack Speech and presented it in front of our grad class and our families. He somehow related it to graduating but I can't remember how. Anyways, it was hysterical. I always knew he was a cool teacher but that just affirmed this fact for the rest of time. Anyways, this scene, where Alan's man-purse (or "satchel") is thrown to the ground and stomped on and Alan screams "HEY! There are skittles in there!" I can't help but laugh. The urgency with which he defended those skittles is just ridiculous. Whoever wrote that joke is amazing. Just like the Calc teacher.

1. Three Point Turn

From Austin Powers

You know the expression LMAO? Right, well I practically did that while watching this scene. I almost puked I was laughing so hard. And when he gets the car completely jammed? I very nearly ROFLed. This scene goes down as comedy gold in my books.

And thus concludes The Cinema Club's article on hilarious movie scenes. I hope this brought you as much joy as it did to me, and you just don't think I have a demented sense of humor. :) 

I wish he was my uncle.

El Capitain OUT!

A la douce memoire de Maxime St-Cyr, Comedien

Just Another Day At The Beach!

I'm late. 

Again.

What Am I late for, you may ask? Well, dear readers, I managed to completely miss D-day. Er, should I say, the D-day anniversary. If you don't know what D-day is, you are about to learn. 

From Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan

On June 6th 1944, The allies made a daring attempt to invade the beaches of Normandy, France. This operation was called 'Operation Overlord' but is more commonly known as 'D-day'. Over a thousand Allie troops died in a bloody battle against the Germans. D-day is, in my opinion, the most brutal and fascinating event in the history of the Second World War. It was beyond terrible what those young men endured on that stormy morning. 

Lots of people think that there was only one beach that was assaulted on D-day. These people are wrong.The D-day tour included Utah, Omaha, Gold, Juno, and Sword beaches.

Each Beach had individual sections

The Ultimate goal in the D-day assaults was to capture the beachhead and establish a Western front. Once this section of Western France was captured, the allies would have another route into France, thus enabling them to push their forces further into the country, liberating the towns as they went. The area was heavily occupied by the Germans. 

Juno Beach on D-Day, thanks to www.dday-overlord.com

This especially bloody battle has become a favorite amongst film makers. Steven Spielberg's phenomenal adaption of the D-day assault breaks my heart every time I watch it. 

 WARNING: This scene is realistic and gruesome. It is very violent, and I don't recommend watching it if you are easily unsettled.

My heart is with the brave young men that fought and fell on June 6th, 1944.

I love you guys.

 

El Capitain OUT!

Back at last!/ Top 10 Favorite Army Movies

My sincere apologies, readers, for taking so long to update (and of course for missing yesterday's Sexy Saturday). The truth is, last week I had spent three and a half hours typing an entry, only to have blogger delete the content and then promptly auto save. How terribly inconvenient. I was far too devastated/frustrated to re-type the entry. My week got progressively more stressful, to the point where I very nearly passed out on Friday, accompanied by a couple peculiar hallucinations. So truthfully, I've been exhausted and cranky, and of course I have yet another math exam to write tomorrow. On top of that, I haven't watched a movie in ages, so I'm straining to find a subject to blog about. 

Well on Saturday, I went paintballing with a big group of friends. It was actually really fun. I loved it! I've always loved the army, and I got to live out my dream of being a soldier for a few hours. It was actually really dramatic- we had to drive waaay out of town, we got lost, ran low on gas, and had to stop at a place called 'Ghost Gas' for a fill up (the gas pumps were so old the gas dripped out slower than molasses). 

This is seriously what happened. Except there were 7 of us and we weren't driving a hamburger.

 When we were back on the road, we drove for what my friend described as "Forever and a half". We played paintball in a forest in the rain, and it was so much fun. And then it got me thinking... 

I've always loved, respected and admired soldiers, and what they do for my country. But after running through a field in the rain, carrying (what I found to be) a heavy gun, I developed a whole new kind of admiration for them. I couldn't possibly imagine doing that for real. Being a soldier would be HARD. My heart really goes out to the men out there that serve my country, today and back in the day. So I feel it is appropriate to do an article on my Top 10 favorite army movies. HUAH!

Charlie Sheen's twin. Winning!

 10. Platoon (1986)

Directed By: Oliver Stone

Which War: Vietnam

Reason: I watched Platoon once, and though it wasn't incredibly graphic, I found it to be considerably disturbing. One scene sticks out in my mind, and I haven't quite been able to shake it from my memory: "Shit, I've never seen brains like that before, man!" Platoon was grimy and it reminds us all just how filthy war is. And even though we all love our troops, some of them did some dirty, terrible things while they were overseas. But I do recall one particularly adorable scene, where Johnny Depp (that's right kids, Johnny Depp was in Platoon) carried a local child out of a village on his shoulders. Awww.

Michael Fassbender as Lt. Archie Hicox is hot!

 9. Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Directed By: Quentin Tarantino

Which War: WWII

Reason: I love Quentin Tarantino for his delightfully twisted mind and phenomenal movies. When I heard that Tarantino would be doing a WWII movie, I pretty much died and came back to life. 5 times. From pure joy and utter excitement. And although Inglourious Basterds has made it onto my sacred bookshelf of well guarded favorite films, it is 9th on my list of favorite army movies for a couple of reasons. 

1.) It is MEGA historically incorrect.

2.) The Military just doesn't work that way.

Oh darling dear, I really do like pilots!

 8. Behind Enemy Lines (2001)

Directed By: John Moore

Which War: Bosnian Conflict

Reason: What's this? Owen Wilson? In a serious movie? It blew my mind too. Seeing Owen in something other than a rom-com just feels...wrong... When I first watched this film, I was honestly expecting some cheesy war comedy starring Owen and his crooked nose. What actually happened was quite different and a bit of a surprise. The main selling point in this movie, for me, was the jets. Oh how I love fighter jets. Behind Enemy Lines was well done and entertaining to watch. Though I wouldn't call it a masterpiece and it had it's cheesy moments, there were a couple parts that were unsettling (the mass-grave scene made my stomach churn).   

These two share everything!

 7. Pearl Harbor (2001)

Directed By: Michael Bay

Which War: WWII

Reason: Pearl Harbor is a very well done film. It hosts a number of great, well developed characters and packs an emotional punch. When the movie really picks up, it gets gory and will surly leave you squirming (at least a little bit). I absolutely love the hospital scene for that reason. It was so bloody and terrible and honest... it broke my heart and I love it for that reason. I can imagine that that scene was not at all far from the truth. But like every movie, it had its flaws. I found it to be terribly long- over 3 hours (it had 2 disks. Enough Said). And I have a confession to make... I hate love stories in war movies. And this movie just so happened to have strong romantic undertones. Yuck.

1940's + Daniel Craig + Leather Jacket = Good things about to happen.

 6. Defiance (2008)

Directed By: Edward Zwick

Which War: WWII

Reason: Previously reviewed by the cinema club: [Link]! This movie was so cold, so realistic and so uncomfortable that I wrapped myself in a blanket and mentally started a food ration plan. Everybody who worked on this film made it very clear to the viewers that the characters were cold, hungry, and Miserable. I just love the fact that Jamie Bell is in the film, and Daniel Craig did an impressive job. Though this movie isn't really an "Army movie", it's about WWII and that's good enough for me! I definitely channeled this film while running through the rainy forest while paintballing. Win.  

Silly little Nazi Child.

 5. Valkyrie (2008)

Directed By: Bryan Singer

Which War: WWII

Reason: Earlier in this entry I mentioned that I had written an entry which blogger promptly deleted. That entry was actually me revealing to the world who my 2 most favorite actors are. I am utterly disappointed with Blogger (frankly that epic let-down was grounds for face slappage). That clever entry that I had crafted was my grand reveal to you who my favorite actor is. And folks, believe you me, he's a hottie. He just so happens to be in this film. And like, every other WWII movie. His Name is Thomas Kretschmann.  Unfortunately though he is not the center of attention. He is never the center of attention. Tom Cruise is the main star of this film. And that is ok considering I don't wish dismemberment and partial blindness on my precious Kretschmann. Valkyrie was an enjoyable action film. It wasn't gory or heavy or serious, and I'd recommend it to the fair-weather army movie watcher. 

Don't cry, Mr. Brody! :(

 4. The Pianist (2002)

Directed By: Roman Polanski

Which War: WWII

Reason: This movie is the definition of "Depression". It was long, exhausting, and sad. The Pianist stars Adrian Brody, who plays a Jew during the second world war. There isn't a large amount of dialogue in this film, and it isn't action packed or sexy. It's raw, grey, depressing, and absolutely perfect that way. Thomas Kretschmann (I really do regret not introducing him with a Bang- siiigh) stars as a good Nazi. I absolutely fell head over heels in love with him (Um, for the 1000th time!) while watching this film. You haven't seen a WWII movie until you've seen The Pianist.

He takes Cranky to a whole new level.

 3. Der Untergang [Downfall] (2004)

Directed By: Oliver Hirschbiegel

Which War: WWII

Reason: Oh my Goodness Bruno Ganz does THE best portrayal of Hitler EVER. This is a German Film, and I love it to pieces. You know for a while that "Someone stole Hitler's Car" vid (and all it's variations) that were so popular? (If you have answered "No", here is a [Link]for you to educate yourself with). Well, that was a clip from Der Untergang. And trust me kids, after seeing this film, no other movie portrayal of Hitler will be satisfactory. Bruno Ganz Rules. Thomas Kretschmann is also in this movie! HOORAH! But he plays a [handsome] Secondary-Character-Twit that we shall disregard. (PS: If you're sitting there wondering to yourself: Gee, who is this handsome devil Miss Capitain here is so fond of?, he's the babe that walks into the room 2 seconds into the Someone stole Hitler's Car video. You're Welcome.). Anyways, the movie takes place in Germany, 1945. It's a bit tedious and the subtitles may be a bit tiring, but it's really good.   

This is reality

 2. Black Hawk Down (2001)

Directed By: Ridley Scott

Which War: Battle of Mogadishu

Reason: This movie is LOUD, Jarring, and fantastic. It's full of explosions, amazing characters, and best of all.... *drum roll* UH-60 Black Hawks (my favorite Helicopters). It tells the true story of an elite group of US Soldiers that were shot down in an effort to capture a Somalian Warlord. I pretty much fell in love with the cast... some of my favorite actors are in there! Ewan McGregor, Ron Eldard, Tom Sizemore, Josh Hartnett, William Fichtner, and even Orlando Bloom. I thought this movie was phenomenal, and it really stressed the importance of team work. It showed how beautifully these men function as a team. It also helped fuel my absolute hellbent passion to be a helicopter pilot (a dream that mathematics has managed to extinguish). Anyways, I love this film, and there is no doubt why it's a favorite amongst men and troops alike. "Super 6-4 is going down"    

D-day is my favorite event in history. Spielberg captured the ugly reality of it perfectly.

 1. Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Which War: WWII

Reason: Graphic. Honest. Heartbreaking. This movie sums up the whole damn war in 169 minutes. Starring Tom Hanks and Matt Damon, who do a very good job playing two very normal people trapped in the nightmarish second world war. I love the idea behind this film, and I would most definitely recommend it to someone who loves the history of WWII. The opening scene sets the mood right away, and I can't help but love how terribly realistic it is. The first couple times I saw the Omaha Beach scene, I cried. Upon seeing the young man laying in the wet sand, his belly completely torn and his insides spilling out, yelling "Momma! Momma!" I just started bawling. Because folks, that's the reality behind it. Love this movie. 

And thus concludes The Cinema Club's article on Army movies. Unfortunately it is very late and every time I get to my feet I sway and feel as if I may pass out. I have to write a math test tomorrow, and I am less than thrilled. Thank you for reading, and I will make an honest effort to avoid going AWOL again. 

El Capitain OUT!

The 10 Cutest Movie Characters

Today, I was driving out to see my horse, when I passed a field full of cows. To my surprise, I saw a cow laying down near the fence. And you wouldn't believe what I saw... two little calf legs sticking out her back end! 

I looked a bit like this: 

I am witnessing the miracle of birth... in cow form...

I drove past the same field while returning from my horse, and there, laying in the field, was a brand new little cow!!! It was so cute, all wet with a pink little nose. 

The one I saw was wetter with a pink nose.

 Little Calf was just trying to stand for the first time, and I just couldn't believe my luck! It was SO cute!!! I would have stuck around longer and taken pictures, but Mama Cow scraped the ground like a bull and looked like she wanted to charge my car. 

So there I was, unaware of what movie to review, when I figured: hey... what I saw today was pretty cute. I am in the mood for even more cuteness. So why not create a list of the top 10 cutest movie characters ever!? Great idea, I know. So here we go... 

The Top 10 Cutest Movie Characters Ever:  

PS: I couldn't quite settle on what kind of "cute" I was talking about. Man cute? Animal Cute? Both? Neither? I wasn't too sure. So I'm mixing it up a little. Enjoy. 

10. Fizzgig

If it was less creepy looking it would be higher up on the cute scale.

From: The Dark Crystal (1982)

Why: As a little girl, have you ever tried brushing the fur of a stuffed animal? The result is always a lump of synthetic horse-tail fluff that collects on the floor and rolls into a corner, remaining for the next five months and slowly accumulating cat-hair and dryer lint. It will eventually roll under a bed and reign as the supreme dust bunny of your house.This is Fizzgig. Only with teeth. I like the fact that Fizzgig throws little temper tantrums and flails his little paws around. He definitely reminds me of an ugly little cross-bred slipper dog that Old Aunt Hattie might allow to sit on her floral chesterfield.  

9. Agnes

Does this count as annoying???

From: Despicable Me (2010)

Why: Agnes is clueless and adorable. She has this super gung-ho attitude and she is in love with Unicorns. With that Water-fountain hairstyle, I don't think she could possibly get any cuter. I think she would make a fantastic sister-pet.

 

8. Bibo The Armadillo

From: Road To El Dorado (2000)

Why: I don't even think I can put into words why this little guy is cute. Shyly peeking through his shell-thing, timidly peering around corners... he's just so... cute.

7. Shaun

Say: "Zombie!"

From: Shaun Of The Dead (2004)

Why: Poor Shaun is a bit depressed. His girlfriend dumped him, he's bored at his job, he hates his step-dad, and the zombie apocalypse is happening right outside his house. Shaun is so cute because, well, he's played by Simon Pegg. And also because he has this uncontrollable desire to go save his mum and his girlfriend, despite the fact that the chances of him getting turned into zombie-chow in the process are mega high. And as we know, protective men = cute. (PS: Also loved him as Scotty in Star Trek!)

6. Trevor McKinney

From: Pay It Forward (2000)

Why: Haley Joel Osment has mastered being a cute little kid. Seriously. And he doesn't fail to be adorable in Pay It Forward. Trevor McKinney is this enthusiastic, determined, rambunctious little boy that seems to be mature for his age, yet still holding onto his childhood innocence. He loves his mom to death, and wants nothing more than to change the world around him, for the better. How could such a generous and determined little boy not make it onto the cute list??? 

5. Jawas

I don't think I want to see them without their hoods.

From: Star Wars

Why: JUST LOOK AT THEM! All adorable in their little cloaks, and mysterious and greedy! Awww...! I especially love the little sounds they make! Such as "Ooteedee!" Though some beg to differ that the correct spelling of the Jawas' preferred phrase is actually "Utinni". If you don't know what a Jawa is, and are unaware of the sounds they make, I recommend that you first slap yourself for your ignorance, then promptly rent a copy of Star Wars: A New Hope and educate yourself.   

4. Irwin Wade

He's the cute one on the right.

From: Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Why: Giovanni Ribisi as this troubled young Field Medic was a brilliant idea. Kudos, Casting Crew. Kudos. Not only is T-4 Irwin Wade compassionate and sweet, he also packs a lot of heart into the film. He stands up for what's right, and never fails to do the right thing. During his big heart-breaker scene, one couldn't help but think: Damn, that's one cute dude. So then we all cry for Wade and spend the rest of the movie in festering hatred. Or maybe that was just me.  

3. Dan Walker

From: Frozen (2010)

Why: I am a math student. So I know that: [Hot guy (blue eyes)] + protective instincts + girlfriend  x Dangerous situation / death scene + 26(nice body + athletic skills) - dumb decision x heart of gold + 2(good intentions) = CUTE. It really is just simple math. If you combine an absolutely adorable back story about him being a chubby kid that cried when his mom left him at school on the first Day of Grade 1, then you have yourself one hell of an adorable character.  

 2. Tiny The Dinosaur

...I'm not sure how well this plan was thought out...

  

From: Meet The Robinsons (2007)

Why: Possibly the cutest dinosaur EVAR!? With that little bowler hat on, and that adorable voice? I think so. Every time my dad and I see this scene, we both laugh and repeat his line for days afterward. Epic YES. 

 

1. Forrest Gump

Jennay??

 From: Forrest Gump (1994)

Why: Now, now, take it easy. I'm not saying I think Tom Hanks is cute in the same way Kevin Zegers is cute, not by a long shot. What I am saying is that Forrest Gump is simply adorable. How can you not like Forrest? It's nearly impossible! I mean, this guy just doesn't do anything wrong. He is always honest, and pure of heart. He is innocent and sweet, and he loves Jenny with all his heart. He protects her, and I just don't think it gets any more adorable than that. He just does his thing, being generous and honest to everyone he meets. He's really enthusiastic ("LIEUTENANT DAN!!!") and gives everything he does his full effort. 

-

Well I hope you agreed with my list of cute characters. Anyone you would have added? Someone you disagreed with? Let me know! 

Insert comments Below.

El Capitain OUT!