This Blog is Crude, Crass, and 100% Rude. This post right here is going to be a prime example of my blogging on its worst behavior. And why is that? Well, folks, today while watching a very good movie called The Others, an especially gorgeous man came onto The Cinema Club's radar. It's Thursday and I absolutely cannot wait until Saturday to give this gorgeous piece of sexy some spotlight here on the blog. Don't get your panties in a knot, I'll introduce him right away. His name is Christopher Eccleston.
And this is he:
Can we engage in the intercourse now?
This Gorgeous piece of Gorgeous captured the Canadian Puck Bunny's heart the moment he wandered on screen.
That is a PRIZE WINNING smile right there. <3 <3 <3
I am a love struck Bunny.
Seriously, Folks. I'm adding him to my list of all time favesies.
The Canadian Puck Bunny's All Time Favesies:
(May be missing a few at this time)
Thomas Kretschmann (#LongTermCommitedRelationship)
Tim Roth
Jamie Bell
Christoph Waltz
Rutger Hauer (#ButOnlyInThe80's)
Viggo Mortensen
Ron Eldard
Christopher Eccleston
Seriously how can you not be drooling right now? (Straight men, don't answer. you wouldn't understand). If you need more persuasion, more pictures can be arranged.
His eyes motherfucker! Look at his EYES!
I'd also like to mention that I love his terrible nose. All the men I've fallen hopelessly in love with have had rather less than perfect noses. I like.
Seriously, folks. I swear. During all his screen time during The Others I was essentially flopping around like a half retarded fish out of water. Writhing on the floor, overwhelmed by his hotness. I was like:
Ahhhh! Please! Kiss all over my body with your scraggly face!
Permission to do naughty things GRANTED.
Cannot... contain... ORGASM.....!!!
Had more fun watching that movie than I expected.
*ahem*
Ok, so I exaggerated a teensy bit. But you get the idea.
Jeebus. At the rate we're going this 30 Day Challenge is going to take A Bagillion Years to finish. Lately I've been feeling a whole cocktail of emotions. After my lovely one managed to break my heart AGAIN, I decided to go MIA for a while, to just scream and cry and behave like the exorcist and get it out of my system. Then on Saturday I went through a brief phase where I was pretty much like:
But now, Spring is right around the corner and I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. So it's time to forget the bastard, enjoy the outdoors, and keep up with this blogging business. My new mantra and/or reply to all negative comments is going to be:
Fuck You, I'm Fabulous.
Yes. It's excellent. And there's even a little Bugs Bunny gif to go with it!
So the Topic to today's 30 Day Challenge is: A Film By Your Favorite Director. Well that's EASY! My Favorite Director is Quentin Tarantino. He was the genius that brought Reservoir Dogs into my life. Since I already reviewed Reservoir Dogs on Day 1, I'm going to talk about a movie that brings me immense joy whenever I see it: Inglourious Basterds.
My reaction to this movie every damn time.
Oh my goodness. This movie. So amazing. The Canadian Puck Bunny is lost for words (which is pretty bad considering this is a blog and requires many words).
Before we begin, for those of you planning on trolling my blog and pretentiously informing me that I have spelled both Inglorious and Bastards wrong, here is what I have to say to you:
And listen the fuck to what I have to say.
Quentin Tarantino is cool enough to invent his own way of spelling things (just like I wish I was cool enough to invent my own way of doing math). Tarantino is so bitchin', that during an interview at the Cannes Film festival, when he was asked about the peculiar spelling, Quentin was all: "I'm never going to tell." He later explained that the 'e' in Basterds is because that's how you say it... Basterds. But he will never explain about the U in Inglourious. He said it's "Quentin Tarantino spelling". How freakin' cool is that. As a matter of fact, my debut as a filmmaker will start in a remake of Citizen Kane. Only instead of being about Charles Foster Kane and finding out what the fuck Rosebud means, the film will be about Quentin Tarantino and what the U in Inglourious means.
So Inglourious Basterds is a WWII fantasy film about a group of Jewish American soldiers sent to Germany to assassinate Nazi soldiers. Only its Quentin Tarantino, so it's going to be a little more brutal than that. Brad Pitt plays Lieutenant Aldo Raine, who demands Nazi scalps from his troops.
The movie also stars a whole bunch of peeps that we LOVE here at the Cinema Club.
First of all, we have Melanie Laurent, who was featured here in our Top 10 Hottest Actresses post.
Another favorite here at the Cinema Club is Michael Fassbender. Oh goodness. He is smokin' hot in this movie. Good lord, I think all us ladies were hot under the collar. First when he used his British accent, and then when he speaks fluent German. Oh, baby!
Other cutie that is less popular is Eli Roth. He plays the "bear Jew" that beats Hitler's boys over the head with a baseball bat upon misbehavior.
Man, all those "so and so is a basterd" posters are kinda making me want to be a basterd too...
So, all these guys are cool and awesome but one of the best parts of Inglourious Basterds is the character Hans Landa. Why? He's played by Sexy Saturday alumnus Christoph Waltz!
Goodness gracious that man is gorgeous. Can we not talk about the movie and just adore Christoph Waltz's gorgeousness?
Yes Please.
I LOVE.
So this movie is amazing, it's instantly quotable, the characters are fantastic, and the fact that its a multilingual bloody adventure by Tarantino makes it even better.
Ah, this is the perfect topic to be covering the day after Valentine's Day! A movie with my favorite actor... isn't that lovely! I'm really excited to do this post because I happen to love the movie we're going to be talking about. But before we get into that, I feel the need to express how weird the ads on my blog are. I was checking things out, making sure it was all looking good, when the ad that Google decided to match me up with was a dating site for cougars. Ummm.... just a few years ago I was still Jail Bait. So I just smile and nod.
Yeah, mhm, thanks Google. Thanks a bunch.
Right, so the movie we're going to talk about today is King Kong (2005), because it happens to have my favorite actor in it. Now, if you're a regular reader of this blog you'll know that I love to sing Tim Roth's praises. And yes, although I love him to bits and pieces, my favorite actor is actually Thomas Kretschmann.
#LongTermCommittedRelationship.
So, I'm not really much of a hipster. At all. But when it comes to Thomas Kretschmann, I'm like, the original hipster.
I liked Thomas Kretschmann before Thomas Kretschmann was cool.
See? The Canadian Puck Bunny has a hipster side.
As a matter of fact, I liked Thomas Kretschmann before any of you non-Europeans knew he even existed. I'm pretty much the Thomas Kretschmann pioneer, celebrating his German hotness before he was in any big American movies.
Over half a decade of Kretschmann Love.
This should be my slogan.
So, although I love Thomas in all his foreign films (he looks ridiculously delicious in his Nazi Uniforms) and appreciate that he's bilingual, I especially love the Character he plays in King Kong. Back when all you 12 year olds were 7 freakin' years old, this hunk of German love played Captain Englehorn in Peter Jackson's masterpiece remake of King Kong. Believe me-
Ahhhg, my finger is bleeding!
Panic averted.
-Believe me, that is an amazing movie. Its the perfect adventure story that blends love, comedy, and seriousness together in one hell of a good time. Although, this film is about a bagillion hours long and usually requires a considerable amount of patience. Or popcorn. Maybe both.
ooooh, all the filthy, dirty, kinky, slutty captions I could put on this photo....
Seriously. He is the reason why I go by the alias Captain. Well, one of the reasons anyways. There are a few. But he's one of them!
Wheeee!
Back in High School, I did an analysis of his character. And believe me, Captain Englehorn is a very complicated character and he is extremely mysterious. And readers, we all know there are few things hotter than a sexy, brooding, mysterious man in a position of power.
Call me.
Seriously, every time I see him I either get the hiccups, butterflies, or end up saying something embarrassing like:
I want to have your babies.
The previous caption on the above photo was too inappropriate and had to be replaced by something tame.
MOVING ON NOW, so King Kong is really awesome and I recommend you all see it. Especially since Thomas Kretschmann is smoking hot and now that he's popular you can all be fan girly and pretend you've loved him ~totes for like, evarrr~. Yeah. But don't forget who introduced you to this smokin' hot son of a bitch. Me, Captain, otherwise known as the Canadian Puck Bunny.
Me having goo-goo eyes for Captain Englehorn, 2005
So, if you know what's good for you, go check out Peter Jackson's King Kong. Dooo iiiiit.
And yeah, don't make fun of his hat. His hat is bitchin'.
So today I pretty much had an orgasm when the commercial for the show The River came on TV. I got so excited that I just had to blog about it right away. What am I so excited about, you may ask? WELL, my favorite actor since foreverrr is now on an American TV show that looks like its going to be very popular.
This was me:
OMAGAD SO EXCITED!
Thomas Kretschmann (AKA German Heartthrob) is playing Captain *swoon* Kurt Brynildson.
...Whoa...
So Thomas Kretschmann is pretty much the hottest man alive. Potentially hotter than Tim Roth (though that matter is always debatable). And now he's on TV on weeknights.
WHEEEE!!!
I can't even freakin' wait. Now the biggest decision I'll have to make on Wednesday nights is if I would rather watch Hockey or Thomas Kretschmann on The River. Hmm... Decisions decisions.
My life is complete.
If you are interested in The River and/or Thomas Kretschmann and want some information about the show, here is the link to the IMDB Page: [Link]. Now, this is a "horror/thriller" show, and Thomas Kretschmann had the unfortunate habit of always getting bumped off in the movies he's in. Let's hope he manages to stay alive for more than 7 Episodes. :)
So it's Day 1 of the 30 Day Film Challenge, and today's subject is: "Your Favorite Film."Well that's easy! My favorite movie is Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs.
FAVESIES!
I first saw this movie when I was in the 11th grade, and let me tell you, I loved it right from the start. I admire Quentin Tarantino's movies because they are so well done. The dialogue in his films is always believable and realistic, and he has a real knack for telling a cool story. Might I also add, it was also the first time I saw TimRoth in a movie... and all I have to say on that topic is:
So Much Love.
♥~(^I wish I could add glitter to that^)~♥
...Sooo much glitter...
The cast also includes Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi, Michael Madsen, and (of course) Quentin Tarantino.
So Reservoir Dogs is a movie about a diamond heist... gone wrong. The hired thieves start flipping out when they realize that one of them is a rat... but which one? Tensions rise and a bleeding Mr. Orange is dragged into the warehouse and it's an absolute gong show.
LOVE IT.
He's still hot. Even while he's bleeding to death.
My Crush on Mr. Orange aside, all the characters in this movie are really cool. Tarantino has a talent for creating characters that are believable in a really twisted way. Steve Buscemi's character, Mr. Pink, is hilarious. You really just have to love the characters in this film. It's so quotable and fantastic! One of my favorite quotes from Reservoir Dogs is something Mr. Orange says to himself while he's giving himself a pep-talk. He says:
"Don't pussy out on me now. They don't know. They don't know shit. You're not gonna get hurt. You're fucking Barretta. They believe every fucking word 'cause you're super cool."
Whenever I need a little reassurance, I write that down on a sticky note and keep it somewhere I can see it.
That quote kept me inspired in the ER, during my overnight hospital stay, and on my solo travels.
Thanks for the inspiration, broski.
Personal mushiness aside, I think that Reservoir Dogs is an amazing movie. Although some of you may not appreciate the fact that the entire movie is full of foul language and lots and lots of blood. But I really think it's worth a watch, especially if you admire Quentin Tarantino.
Michael Madsen as Mr. Blonde
I would also like to add that the soundtrack to this movie is bitchin'! I bought the CD and I'm listening to it constantly. It doesn't get any cooler than K-Billy's Super Sounds of the 70's Weekend!
The opening diner scene = amazing
So there you have it, folks! My favorite movie. I highly recommend it to all that aren't squeamish at the sight of blood. I truly appreciate every second of this movie, and I hope you do too! :)
Readers! I think what I have for you this week is possibly the Sexiest Sexy Saturday ever!
For Reals!?
GET EXCITED. Because this week's Sexy Saturday is....
Christoph Waltz!
Hot... DAMN! <3
Fangirl Pandemonium!
Seriously folks, this is exciting stuff. If you're not already convinced I can guarantee you'll be drooling by the end of this post. Christoph Waltz is one hot son of a bitch and you will soon see why. But first, we must cover the basics.
Christoph Waltz is a talented actor, born on October 4th, 1956 in Vienna, Austria. And as we know from the Matt Damon Sexy Saturday, the hottest guys are born in October. Its truth! It's fact! It's textbook!
Now, upon Googling Christoph Waltz, I came upon this rather... odd... search result:
Trolololo? Srsly? ....wtf?
I was confused too. So I looked it up on youtube.... and at first I was reluctant to share this video. But then I figured you'd all find it on your own anyways so I might aswell include it in this post. Yeah, it's weird. And I have no excuses. But now that we've gotten that out of the way we can move on now and appreciate the hotness that is Christoph Waltz.
Moving on now.
Waltz has been acting for years, but it wasn't until Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds hit the big screens did Waltz get Hollywood attention. Most of Waltz's acting was done in European TV series. But since Inglourious Basterds, Waltz has now had roles in movies such as The Green Hornet, Water for Elephants, The Three Musketeers, and Carnage.
Might I add, Waltz's performance in Inglourious Basterds was beyond supreme, and I cheered my lungs out when he won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.
Col. Awesome
Damn Straight.
Furthermore, Christoph Waltz can speak a bagillion languages and if that doesn't get you hot under the collar, I don't know what will. (By a bagillion I mean 3). And 3 is impressive because he's fluent in them. English, French, and German. Geil!
Now sit back and enjoy this gif:
He's... GORGEOUS.
For those of you who have never seen Inglourious Basterds, I implore you to go and watch it. It is one of my favorite movies and it was absolutely amazing. Christoph Waltz's acting was jaw droppingly awesome. The sex appeal he exuded was dizzying and you can't help but wish you could be pressed against him while he's in that uniform.
Plus, he's freakin' adorable.
There's no denying how much you love this photo.
Now I'm going to spoil all of you with photos of him as a young man.
You're welcome.
He even looks good when he's filthy.
Oh my God, Christoph Waltz.
See, I told you he was one hell of a sexy guy! Now I must put this Sexy Saturday to a close. But you know, Readers, I feel pretty good. Because I know that all around the world, women are swooning over Christoph Waltz. And he deserves that.
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