Hotel For Dogs.

You know how sometimes dogs howl in despair? 

I'm pretty sure that happened when Hotel For Dogs (Directed by Thor Freudenthal) came out in 2009.

POR QUE!?

 One of the major themes of this story was... uh, Juvenile Delinquency!!! Not only does the movie start with an 11 year old boy sealing Rocks in a Cell Pone box and selling them to Pawn Shops, but the whole movie is about a pack of misfit children trespassing in an abandoned hotel and dodging cops and animal control. 

Look how bad ass we are.

 So yeah... I wish I could give some sort of in-depth analysis on the film, divulging all the juicy secrets on how hot the main male character looked shirtless, how fantabulous the cinematography was, how the dialogue was so incredibly well done, and how the story was very thought provoking, but the truth is, there really isn't much to say about this film. It really is just... a hotel full of dogs...

PS: He's the "babe" in this movie.

 Yeah, yeah, yeah... I suppose I'm being a bit harsh. I just didn't like this movie because it didn't peak an interest in me... at all. 

I got into my fair share of shenanigans as a child, like sneaking into the neighbor's back yard and sitting on their horses when no one was looking... 

LAWLS I totally shouldn't be doing this!

Or sneaking into the other neighbor's yard to pet their dog... 

I WUV PUPPIES!

 Although running from cops and breaking into a vacant hotel while hording 50+ dogs is a little extreme. Even for me. 

And the consequences in this film were a little bit skewed. I'm not going to spoil anything for you guys (since I'm sure you're all completely stoked to go see HOTEL FOR DOGS!!!) 

They tried to pull this whole "poor little orphan children" routine. Which didn't really work. I mean, Lisa Kudrow isn't exactly the most evil foster mom I can think of... 

Life sucks when your foster parents think they're rock stars

 They should have just gone to live with Cool Uncle Russell!!!! (Hey, he likes dogs too!) 

HOT DAMN now wouldn't that be a twist!

(BTW: while we're talking about Russell Crowe, I'd like to mention that I found a site that rated Russell Crowe as a meaner, nastier celebrity than... OJ Simpson. wtf. [Link]). 


Right. So back to Hotel for Dogs.... 

What a great movie... 

 

I think I'm getting distracted... 

 

 

And I just jizzed in my pants.

 El Capitain OUT!