Planet of the Apes! And Profanity!

There are things out there that people commonly refer to as "Disturbing". Certain things strike people in bad ways and cause negative reactions. What are some things that are often identified as disturbing? 

Well lots of soldiers will say that going to war and watching their comrades die is disturbing. We call that PTSD.  View Below.

 

 

I can also safely say that for us ladies, seeing a penis for the first (and second and third and fourth) time is pretty damn disturbing. 

I swear to god its staring right at me!

  

And what else is disturbing? Well some of you people may say the death of a loved one, a natural disaster, or that time your cat, Mr. Whiskers, got run over by a car. For me, it was Planet of the Apes. The 2001 version. 

"WTF" doesn't even begin to cover my reaction...

 

So I'm sure you all know the idea behind planet of the apes. Some guy in outer space crash lands on a planet that's pretty much ruled by Apes and he becomes captured and kept as a pet.

...or something like that. 

So if that wasn't weird enough, the film makers tried to add sex appeal to these apes. 

And I'm like: WTF you're a fucking monkey

Even Wallyberg is like: WTF You're a fucking monkey.

Believe me, it was WEIRD.

And to make matters worse, my darling favorite actor Tim Roth was in the movie. As a fucking monkey. 

Motherfucker NO!

That's when that movie went from Weird to Disturbing for me.

 

 

 I developed an eye twitch while watching that film. It was pretty brutal. But I figured I would watch the whole movie, from start to finish. I would be left with horrible nightmares if I didn't see the film to the end. Or so I thought.  And the movie was actually somewhat tolerable. Then this happened: 

 

 

WHY THE FUCK DID HE KISS THE MONKEY???

And just when you thought things couldn't get any worse than Mark Wahlberg locking lips with an overgrown chimpanzee... it managed to get worse. The ending of that movie BLEW. And by blew, I mean it blew harder than [insert dirty prostitute joke here] 

I lost all respect for Mark Wahlberg. 

JUST SAY NO. 

So what's the significance of this post? Nothing, really. My brother has been pestering me to watch the NEW Planet of the Apes movie with him. My answer is a definite:

 

And I recommend everyone else say NO aswell.