The Never Ending Story

Well readers, today I just got home from visiting my horse, Scooter. It's been raining buckets where I live, and sadly my horse really hates the rain, so I had to take the poor guy into the barn. He was sopping wet and purely miserable. After blow-drying him off (I'm not joking, kids. I actually dried my horse with a hair-dryer), I turned him back outside with his blanket on. As I was slipping and sloshing through the mud, horse in tow, I was thinking about one particular scene from the movie The Never Ending Story (1984)...

SPOILER ALERT:

 

Lucky for me, my horse didn't drown in a puddle, and I wasn't nearly that filthy.

Today, Audience, I am bringing to you a review of an old children's movie. Now, if you've ever seen '80s children's movies, you know that those puppets are freaking creepy!  

Exhibit A: The Skeksis from The Dark Crystal (1982)

Exhibit B: The Goblins from Labyrinth (1986)

Exhibit C: Those Podling critters from The Dark Crystal (1982)

Us Children from the '80s and '90s were desensitized after an early exposure to these horrendous puppets. Unfortunately, as a child, I saw The Never Ending Story (directed by Wolfgang Petersen), and instead of being desensitized by the creative display presented with Technovision, I became deeply scarred. Deeply scared, dear readers, by a particularly scary '80s puppet... ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you my deepest, darkest fear:  

G'mork the werewolf.

AKA The Creature Of Darkness.

 

 

You now have permission to picture 7 year old me screaming my mother lovin' face off. 

So how does this particularly frighting Wolf-Creature fit into this children's movie, you may ask? Allow me to explain. 

The movie The Never Ending Story is based off of the book written by German author Michael Ende. It is about a young boy named Bastian, who comes to have possession of a mysterious book. The story Bastian reads is about a magical land called Fantasia. This magical land is ruled by the Childlike Empress. 

This reminds me of My Sister's Keeper...

   

The Childlike Empress is dying, and only one person can save her. This someone is a young boy named Atreyu. 

Looks like a tomboy.

Atreyu sets off on a quest to find the cure for the dying empress. But of course this story needs a bad guy... and that's where G'mork the creepy talking werewolf comes in. 

GEEZUS!!!!

I pretty much love this movie. It is a fabulous adventure movie for children. And the message behind the film (which is delivered during G'mork's creepy-as-fuck monologue) is actually really powerful. "Because people who have no hopes are easy to control; and whoever has the control... has the power!" 

Yep. Cool movie. 

I also need to mention that the little gnome critters, Engywook and Urgl, are probably the best characters ever invented. Ever.   

BEST.

I've seen it a gillion times and I would recommend it to someone who likes fantasy movies. Note to reader: it's very apparent this movie was done in the '80s. But it's German. And we all know the Germans always make good stuff. 

El Capitain OUT!