Day 11 - A Film By Your Favorite Director

Jeebus. At the rate we're going this 30 Day Challenge is going to take A Bagillion Years to finish. Lately I've been feeling a whole cocktail of emotions. After my lovely one managed to break my heart AGAIN, I decided to go MIA for a while, to just scream and cry and behave like the exorcist and get it out of my system. Then on Saturday I went through a brief phase where I was pretty much like: 

 

But now, Spring is right around the corner and I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. So it's time to forget the bastard, enjoy the outdoors, and keep up with this blogging business. My new mantra and/or reply to all negative comments is going to be: 

Fuck You, I'm Fabulous.

 Yes. It's excellent. And there's even a little Bugs Bunny gif to go with it! 

 

 

So the Topic to today's 30 Day Challenge is: A Film By Your Favorite Director. Well that's EASY! My Favorite Director is Quentin Tarantino. He was the genius that brought Reservoir Dogs into my life. Since I already reviewed Reservoir Dogs on Day 1, I'm going to talk about a movie that brings me immense joy whenever I see it: Inglourious Basterds.  

My reaction to this movie every damn time.

Oh my goodness. This movie. So amazing. The Canadian Puck Bunny is lost for words (which is pretty bad considering this is a blog and requires many words). 

Before we begin, for those of you planning on trolling my blog and pretentiously informing me that I have spelled both Inglorious and Bastards wrong, here is what I have to say to you: 

 

And listen the fuck to what I have to say.

Quentin Tarantino is cool enough to invent his own way of spelling things (just like I wish I was cool enough to invent my own way of doing math). Tarantino is so bitchin', that during an interview at the Cannes Film festival, when he was asked about the peculiar spelling, Quentin was all: "I'm never going to tell." He later explained that the 'e' in Basterds is because that's how you say it... Basterds. But he will never explain about the U in Inglourious. He said it's "Quentin Tarantino spelling". How freakin' cool is that. 
As a matter of fact, my debut as a filmmaker will start in a remake of Citizen Kane. Only instead of being about Charles Foster Kane and finding out what the fuck Rosebud means, the film will be about Quentin Tarantino and what the U in Inglourious means.  

 

So Inglourious Basterds is a WWII fantasy film about a group of Jewish American soldiers sent to Germany to assassinate Nazi soldiers. Only its Quentin Tarantino, so it's going to be a little more brutal than that. Brad Pitt plays Lieutenant Aldo Raine, who demands Nazi scalps from his troops. 

   

The movie also stars a whole bunch of peeps that we LOVE here at the Cinema Club.

First of all, we have Melanie Laurent, who was featured here in our Top 10 Hottest Actresses post. 

Another favorite here at the Cinema Club is Michael Fassbender. Oh goodness. He is smokin' hot in this movie. Good lord, I think all us ladies were hot under the collar. First when he used his British accent, and then when he speaks fluent German. Oh, baby!

 

Other cutie that is less popular is Eli Roth. He plays the "bear Jew" that beats Hitler's boys over the head with a baseball bat upon misbehavior.

Man, all those "so and so is a basterd" posters are kinda making me want to be a basterd too...

So, all these guys are cool and awesome but one of the best parts of Inglourious Basterds is the character Hans Landa. Why? He's played by Sexy Saturday alumnus Christoph Waltz!

 

Goodness gracious that man is gorgeous. Can we not talk about the movie and just adore Christoph Waltz's gorgeousness? 

 

Yes Please. 

I LOVE.

So this movie is amazing, it's instantly quotable, the characters are fantastic, and the fact that its a multilingual bloody adventure by Tarantino makes it even better. 

-Captain

Day 10 - A Film With Your Favorite Actress (Female)

Looks like we're back at the 30 Day Challenge, folks. Last Time we explored the amazingness that is Thomas Kretschmann. But today we have to talk about women. Hmm. Well, my favorite actress is Milla Jovovich. 

 

Girl Crush!

I think she's 100% awesome. And the movie we're going to talk about today not only stars Milla Jovovich, but Thomas Kretschmann happens to be in it aswell!

 

It's like a double whammy. 2x the awesome. Mind is blown. Well, kinda.

So the movie we're talking about is Called Resident Evil: Apocalypse.   

 ...

As I type this my brother is standing behind me trying to untangle my messy horse-riding hair with his fingers. His hand is stuck and it it very distracting. 

Bitch, I'm flawless.

  

Right. So Resident Evil: Apocalypse. For those of you that are not aware, Resident Evil is the best zombie franchise ever. What started out as a video game eventually turned into movies and books. I totally nerd-love Resident Evil like I nerd-love Jurassic Park. And that's a lot. 

In the first Resident Evil, we meet Milla Jovovich who plays super-babe Alice. I love Alice. She's amazing. I felt inspired and in the 11th grade I dressed up as her for Halloween. I tore a red dress and dyed my hair just like hers. 

I thought my costume was bitchin'. The boys got it. I got high-fived for my zombie ass-kicking getup. The girls I went to school with didn't get it. They just glared at me. One was brave enough to ask why I would dress as a hooker for Halloween. Cue facepalm. 

In the movie we're talking about, Alice doesn't wear that hot-as-hell red dress. Instead, she wears ripped jeans and an orange camisole. 

And it's Milla Jovovich, so she makes it look hot. 

As a matter of fact, Milla Jovovich can make anything look hot. 

Even this disaster hair.

Milla Jovovich is the only actress I have genuine respect for. If I had the occupy the skin of another human being for a day, I would want to be in hers. Especially while she was in Resident Evil: Apocalypse. 'Cause Thomas was there. :) 

bwaaahhhhh :)

Unfortunately the two don't get along very well. at all. As a matter of fact she watches with a smile as he's pushed out of a helicopter and breaks both his legs. Cue girl-sobs. 

But this post isn't about Thomas.

This post is about the gorgeousness that is Milla Jovovich. 

And FYI, Milla is on the Twitter. 

Follow her up!

@MillaJovovich

So she's beautiful, talented, she's a great mom, and she can kick some zombie-ass. She is pretty much everything I think a woman should be. 

I wish I was a bit more like her. <----personal mushiness. 

-Captain

Day 9 - A Film With Your Favorite Actor (Male)

Ah, this is the perfect topic to be covering the day after Valentine's Day! A movie with my favorite actor... isn't that lovely! I'm really excited to do this post because I happen to love the movie we're going to be talking about. But before we get into that, I feel the need to express how weird the ads on my blog are. I was checking things out, making sure it was all looking good, when the ad that Google decided to match me up with was a dating site for cougars.
Ummm.... just a few years ago I was still Jail Bait. So I just smile and nod. 
 

 

Yeah, mhm, thanks Google. Thanks a bunch.

Right, so the movie we're going to talk about today is King Kong (2005), because it happens to have my favorite actor in it. Now, if you're a regular reader of this blog you'll know that I love to sing Tim Roth's praises. And yes, although I love him to bits and pieces, my favorite actor is actually Thomas Kretschmann. 

#LongTermCommittedRelationship.

  

So, I'm not really much of a hipster. At all. But when it comes to Thomas Kretschmann, I'm like, the original hipster. 

  

 I liked Thomas Kretschmann before Thomas Kretschmann was cool. 

See? The Canadian Puck Bunny has a hipster side.

As a matter of fact, I liked Thomas Kretschmann before any of you non-Europeans knew he even existed. I'm pretty much the Thomas Kretschmann pioneer, celebrating his German hotness before he was in any big American movies. 

Over half a decade of Kretschmann Love.

This should be my slogan.

So, although I love Thomas in all his foreign films (he looks ridiculously delicious in his Nazi Uniforms) and appreciate that he's bilingual, I especially love the Character he plays in King Kong. Back when all you 12 year olds were 7 freakin' years old, this hunk of German love played Captain Englehorn in Peter Jackson's masterpiece remake of King Kong. Believe me-

Ahhhg, my finger is bleeding! 

   

Panic averted.

-Believe me, that is an amazing movie. Its the perfect adventure story that blends love, comedy, and seriousness together in one hell of a good time. Although, this film is about a bagillion hours long and usually requires a considerable amount of patience. Or popcorn. Maybe both. 

ooooh, all the filthy, dirty, kinky, slutty captions I could put on this photo....

  

Seriously. He is the reason why I go by  the alias Captain. Well, one of the reasons anyways. There are a few. But he's one of them! 

 

Wheeee!

 

Back in High School, I did an analysis of his character. And believe me, Captain Englehorn is a very complicated character and he is extremely mysterious. And readers, we all know there are few things hotter than a sexy, brooding, mysterious man in a position of power.  

 

Call me.

Seriously, every time I see him I either get the hiccups, butterflies, or end up saying something embarrassing like:

I want to have your babies.

The previous caption on the above photo was too inappropriate and had to be replaced by something tame. 

MOVING ON NOW, so King Kong is really awesome and I recommend you all see it. Especially since Thomas Kretschmann is smoking hot and now that he's popular you can all be fan girly and pretend you've loved him ~totes for like, evarrr~. Yeah. But don't forget who introduced you to this smokin' hot son of a bitch. Me, Captain, otherwise known as the Canadian Puck Bunny.

Me having goo-goo eyes for Captain Englehorn, 2005

  

So, if you know what's good for you, go check out Peter Jackson's King Kong. Dooo iiiiit.

 

And yeah, don't make fun of his hat. His hat is bitchin'.

-Captain 

 

Day 8 - The Film You Can Quote Best

Unfortunately, the film I can quote best happens to be my favorite movie, Reservoir Dogs, which was previously reviewed in Day 1 of the 30 Day Challenge. So what next?  

Monty Python and the Holy Grail. 

Yeah, that. 

Almost all the best quotes ever are from Monty Python, and the Holy Grail is, well, the Holy Grail of hilarious movie quotes. Here, my dear readers, are my absolute favorite quotes from the movie: 

A Duck!

We require... a SHRUBBERY!

 

The Holy Hand Grenade

  

Fetchez la Vache!

I'll bite you kneecaps off.

-Captain

Day 7 - A Film That Reminds You of Your Past

I have the perfect answer for this Topic, but unfortunately its a little bit touchy. But its such a perfect match-up that I have to use it. So today's 30 Day Challenge topic is "A Film that Reminds you of your past". Hm. Well readers, the film that I have chosen is Stealing Beauty. 

I've been meaning to review this movie since 2011, since it's touched me rather deeply, but I just haven't been able to write anything right. I suppose the time has come, and for the sake of the 30 Day Challenge, I'm going to do it!

Huzzah!

Stealing Beauty (1996) stars Liv Tyler as nineteen year old Lucy. Lucy travels on her own to Italy to visit family friends in a Tuscan Villa. Lucy has two main motives for her travels: 
1.) To try to find out who her real father is.
2.) To meet up with the boy she fell in love with a few years before.

A few months ago I traveled alone, and my trip went exactly like Lucy's for the longest time. We both flew on a plane, took a train, and rode in taxi cabs to get to our destination. 

This touches my heart directly and honestly takes me right back to my own travels. I listened to the Stealing Beauty soundtrack on my adventure.

The soundtrack. 

Oh god, it's so good. 

I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to it again, thus my broken heart, but the soundtrack is so, so, so good. 

I remember sitting on a passenger train in the nighttime, my head pressed against the dark window with 2 Wicky playing softly in my earbuds. Oh, life.     

So this movie is incredibly beautiful. It covers happiness, loss, confusion, sadness, all of it. And of course Liv Tyler is incredibly beautiful and even if you're a straight female Liv is still immensely enjoyable to watch. Although this film doesn't leave you feeling fulfilled or happy, it is a beautiful movie sporting gorgeous cinematography and an enjoyable soundtrack. Obviously I recommend it. 

 

Boys, not convinces? 

You get to see Rachel Weisz naked.

-Captain

Day 6 - A Film That Reminds You of Somewhere

So I suppose we should get back to the 30 day challenge, yes? Alright. Well today's topic is "A film that reminds you of somewhere". The only movie that comes to mind is Under The Tuscan Sun. I happen to be a little bit of a globe trotter, and a number of summers ago I spent a week in Italy. I swear, I was the only Canadian Puck Bunny in all of Tuscany.

Self-taken portrait, Italy 2008

  

Me enjoying the Tuscan gardens, Italy 2008

Me showing off my bum, Italy 2008

Right. So Under The Tuscan Sun is a beautiful movie starring Diane Lane as Frances, a recently divorced writer that takes off to Italy on a spontaneous trip that turns out to be a life changing experience. This movie is quirky, charming, and absolutely beautiful. A few places featured in the film are actually places I visited myself when I was in Italy. Example: San Gimignano. 

 

I highly recommend this movie. Although it is a bit "chick flick-y", it is a very enjoyable film. It is esthetically pleasing, and the characters are lovable and realistic.

 

I think everyone should do themselves a favor and watch this movie. In my humble opinion, it never gets old and its just as beautiful each time I watch it. It reminds me vividly of Italy, and while watching this film I swear you can almost feel the warm Italian sun on your face. 

-Captain

Day 5 - A Film That Reminds You of Someone

Back to the 30 Day Challenge, and today's topic is "a film that reminds you of someone".

GEEZUS. 

I can only think of 2 and those are both memories I'd rather not dig up (figures those are the only two that come to mind). What's a girl to do? Valentine's Day is coming up and I'm still single + heartbroken and spending my weekend nights eating out of the Nutella Jar with a spoon (I wish I was kidding but that's actually the truth).

Me:

 

I guess I'm going to have to lie and come up with a really strained answer thats only half true. The Movie I'm going to pick is Transformers. I choose this movie because it reminds me of two very special people in my life. You see, my Best Friend Parachute Fan and I kinda roll differently than most girls do. While most girls spend their sleepovers doing things like this: 

OMG LOL lets paint each others naiils and like do each others hair;;; and talkk about boys!!!1!

  

My Bestie and I act like broskis broskies (I don't know how to pluralize "Broski") and ordered pizza, ate icecream, burned popcorn, played video games, and watched Transformers. 

Good Times, brah.

    

And that wasn't the last time we watched Transformers together. We added another person and my brother to the equation. During the day, the 2 boys sat on the deck shooting bee-bee guns, while us girls walked up main street to the cafe for smoothies. At night, we regrouped in the basement, barricading the door with a mattress to keep the scary things out, and falling asleep while half watching Transformers in the wee hours of the morning. 

Bitchin'

    

-Captain

Day 4 - A Film You Watch to Feel Down

I think I need to make up for lost time, thus 2 posts in one day. See, as a University Student, I am unable to make daily commitments. This 30 Day challenge will likely drag out to a 30 Year challenge if I don't double post every now and again. So the 2nd topic of the day is "A Film you watch to feel down." Err... ok? I know the answer to that. But really? Do I really want to talk about downer things? Sigh. I guess I'll have to. But first, I want to talk about my longing for a pet Koala. 

 

I WANT A KOALA SO FREAKING BAD.

*ALSO*

Last night I had a dream about Wallabies.

Oh my freaking goodness for the love of God can I please cuddle a Wallaby???

Readers, I think it's become clear: my longing for a Koala, dreaming about Wallabies... 

I need to go to Australia.

~When I'm in Australia I shall adopt a Koala and a Wallaby.~

I already have the whole thing planned. I've even picked out names for my Australian pets. I think I want to name my Koala Robert. Or Phillip. If I name him Robert I'll make him wear a tie. I still don't know what I'm going to name my Wallaby, but when I find out I'll let you know!

Ok. Back to Movies. The movie I watch to feel down is My Sister's Keeper. 

 

For those of you who don't know, My Sister's Keeper is a movie about a young teenager that has leukemia. The entire movie is an up and down roller coaster of emotion, and I cry almost every time I watch it. But don't get me wrong, I really like this movie. I think it's so well done, and the acting was really good. But I only seem to watch this movie when I'm in a bit of a bad mood, I suppose that why I've chosen it as the movie I "watch to feel down." 

 

The way I feel after this movie isn't down... I feel like my entire soul has been cleansed with my own tears. It makes me cry like that Make a Wish Foundation commercial with the boy that loves hockey. 

That commercial chokes me up each time. 

Man... I can't imagine being told that my life would be ending soon. I think that's too much. And it's really sad that this is a problem kids have to deal with. :( 

You know, when I finally get around to adopting my Australian pets, I'll bring them to children's hospitals to visit sick kids. They'll love cuddling with Robert/Phillip, the potentially tie wearing Koala, and they'll also adore [Insert Wallaby's name here] as he hops around the hospital room in a Super Man cape. He'll be even cuter than this photo of Patrick Kane at the All Stars competition in Ottawa: 

Kaner looks adorbs in hipster glasses. Me Likey.

-Captain