...and up until recently I had a bit of a hate on for Black & White films. I thought they were boring as hell and I most definitely judged them right off the bat. But last Thursday in Film Class I got to see a clip from a German Expressionist film called Metropolis. Guys, from what I got to see, that movie is bitchin'. I found one scene in particular absolutely hysterical. Since I am nice I will share it with you.
(For the record, I don't think it was meant to be funny, but the expressions of the men's faces are hysterical!)
Also: Beware early 20th century nudity!
Because this:
=
Hilarity aside, this is actually a very well done scene, and I look forward to seeing the whole thing. Furthermore, on the topic of Black & White films, I also saw a clip from Nosferatu. And guys... it was actually really creepy.
Here's the 1922 trailer:
Right So now that we're all on board and agree that Black & White can be awesome (if you do not agree, you may walk the plank) I would like to use this as an opportunity to share some of Tim Roth's most drool-worthy Black & White photos.
I believe it was around this time, one year ago, that The Cinema Club was born.
That makes us One Year Old.
So we're having a little birthday party. Because really, here at the Cinema Club, we'll take any excuse to party. And so far it's been great. We've invited all Sexy Saturday alumni, and they've brought stacks of gifts.
Timmy put on a floral apron and baked the cake
Russell Crowe brought whipped cream and he and Jamie Bell got into a whipped cream fight. Both of them are completely covered. Meanwhile, Spike Lee is the DJ and Ryan Gosling is sitting in the bathtub.
Hey, girl. Care to join me?
We've got lots of alcohol here at The Cinema Club office, and it's getting pretty hot in here. Thomas Kretschmann and I wanted to do tequila shots, but Jason Statham tried to talk us out of it, because he was DD for the night and he didn't want anyone to puke in his sporty car. Thomas and I replied with:
and proceeded to do shots. Next thing we knew Gerard Butler yelled "THIS IS SPARTA!" and accidentally kicked Jamie Bell out the window. We had to go collect him off the sidewalk and he was less than pleased.
I am most displeased.
To make it up to him, we had Gerard Butler give him a cupcake and then everything was ok. Meanwhile, Wayne Knight showed up because he heard there would be food, and Jerry got pretty pissed.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
So I had to have a little chit chat with security and find out why on Earth they'd let Wayne Knight into our party. Then Rutger Hauer started playing drinking games with Gosling, and Toby Maguire was trying to see which of the female guests would actually believe he is a doctor. Things were getting a little bit out of hand, but all was interrupted when Timmy accidentally burnt the cake. So Wayne was all:
JESUS. There won't be any cake!!!
But Tim just says:
Fuck you I followed the recipe.
So Wayne puts on the floral apron and takes Timmy's place in the kitchen. We all wait at the table like:
As we're waiting for the cake, Ryan Gosling asks if anybody would like to play spin the bottle and I'm like:
Then Timmy gets a little too excited and looks at Gary Oldman like:
Gary Oldman Let's DO IT.
But then Wayne Knight finished the cake and everyone just devours it like this:
We've hardly finished our cake when Gary Oldman decides he wants to take Timmy up on his offer. So as they're making out on the table all our male guests are like:
So we move over to the next room and decide to do more shots. Liam Neeson ends up drinking everyone under the table and by 3am we're all pretty exhausted. So Jason Statham, our DD, gets everyone in the car and we leave the Cinema Club office in style.
They see us rollin', they hatin'.
But before we go home we stop at a Tim Horton's joint and drink hot chocolate in our inebriated state. Rutger Hauer looks especially adorable.
It's my favorite day of the week again! Timmy Tuesday! And if you say you dislike Timmy Tuesdays, this is all we have to say to you:
You! Yes, you. You sit on a THRONE OF LIES.
Today's Timmy Tuesday Topic (Holy T's!!!!) is Guilty Confessions. Because recently Timmy confessed to the world on the Twitterthat he has a guilty secret... The Movie Bridesmaids.
Yes, it's true!
And here, dear readers, is the proof:
But it doesn't end there. He continues on with his confessions:
So meanwhile here at the Cinema Club, we're all inspired to talk about our Guilty Secrets aswell!
Usually when the opportunity to spill guilty secrets comes up, we go about the issue a bit like this:
I'll just be leaving now.....
But not today, my dear readers. Today we're going to let our dork flags fly and be loud and proud about the shit we like. I recently did this on Day 3 of the 30 Day Challenge, when I so boldly announced my love for Peewee Herman.
.....did you hear that loud stampeding sound?
.......that was the sound of all my future boyfriends running away.
A Small List of the Canadian Puck Bunny's Guilty Confessions:
I absolutely love dinosaur fruitsnacks
Lilo & Stitch is one of my favorite movies
I have the Hamster Dance album on my iPod
If I had the choice between a boyfriend and a puppy I'd pick the puppy
Wow. that list pretty much concludes that I am actually 6 years old.
Though I have my mature guilty confessions aswell...
Right. So obviously I'm not the only one that has guilty secrets. Why, just now, a friend texted me: "Que Coño" which is NOT what he wanted to say, at all... (thanks to his Spanish speaking friend, he is now humiliated). Those of you who speak Spanish are laughing. For those of you who don't...
Suddenly it all makes sense.
A regular reader of the blog and a good friend of mine offered one of his guilty dorky pleasures to post on the blog:
The Iron Giant is his favorite movie. Not a lot of people are willing to admit that they have a love for animated films.
My She-Darling also offered up a confession for the sake of the blog. She says that The Princess Bride is her favorite movie ever. And let's admit, perhaps the Princess Bride is a wee bit dorky.
The moral of the story is this:
We all have silly, dorky things that we think should be secrets. But the truth is we shouldn't be ashamed of these things, they're what make us special and unique. And, of course:
Nobody is too cool to be a dork or be embarrassed.
God Bless Timmy Tuesdays
♥ And if anyone says otherwise, you must reply with:
Yes, I am in fact sticking with these Timmy Tuesday shenanigans. Weekly Tim Roth posts are just far too good to resist. I can almost guarantee that after a month or two of Timmy Tuesdays, all you non-believers will be converted Rothy fans. This week's topic is:
Bromance.
Because there are few things more awesome than a good old fashioned bromance.
And believe it or not, Rothy has the whole bromance thing nailed. He does it almost as good as Boston Bruins Brad Marchand and Tyler Seguin.
Death by cuteness!
Now as we know, Tim Roth is pretty much BFFs with Gary Oldman. In relation to Marchand and Seguin, Tim is Brad (they have the same freakin' nose) and Gary is Tyler.
Bromance: You're doing it right.
There is a photo we encountered on the Tim Roth Sexy Saturday that we love here at the Cinema Club. In this photo Tim wrote Gary a note. On his forehead. View below:
Well guess what, folks? Gary wrote him a note back.
Waow.
Fangirl Pandemonium!
So that's pretty darn cute. I like putting the two photos side by side.
When Tim found out Gary thinks he's sexy this was his reaction:
♥
Tim and Gary fans are currently experiencing cuteness overload. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is in awe at Timmy's awesome shirt in the above photo. Although Rothy saves his best bromancing for Gary, he does share his adorableness with other men aswell.
Here at the Cinema Club, it's pretty clear that we love Tim Roth. Since he's active on the Twitter, I figured it would be good to pay a weekly tribute to the British Sexy Saturday Alumnus.
I love this snarky mofugga.
So on the very first weekly Timmy Tuesday I would like to apologize for lying to you all in the last Newsies post, where I excitedly stated that Rothy has been nominated for an Academy Award. Err... not so much. Sorry to disappoint you folks, but he just voted. LE SIGH. I think the last time he was nominated was for his role as Archibald Cunningham in Rob Roy back in the 90's.
A powdered wig movie.
Then again I could be wrong. Because apparently I invent my own reality to suit my fancy. Isn't that what crazy people do? Well it is Tequila Week Reading Break, so I think that's a good enough excuse to be a little bit loony tunes.
Speaking of Loony Tunes, check out how Tim Roth catches the elevator:
Yes, I know. I just wrote you guys a farewell message, letting you all know that I'll be crazy busy partying my buns off this week. And believe you me, I did indeed party like a Rockstarr last night. I'm spending today recuperating. Believe me, folks. Drinking Tequila Straight from a glass is fun but also leads to shenanigans which leads to being very tired. I got home at 4am and shared a bed with my cat. Instead of going out again this evening I stayed in and watched a movie. And this is a pretty good movie. The film I saw today is called The Thing. And I'm not talking about the one done in the 1950's or John Carpenter's creation that earned a 10/10 on the WTF-Scale. I'm talking about the remake of the remake.
The Thing (2011) is directed by some dude whose name I can't pronounce. Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. As far as I'm concerned and for the rest of this entry, the director's name is pronounced like this:
Now that we have the director's name all cleared up, let us begin.
So The Thing takes place in Antarctica, which is pretty much the best setting for a horror movie. Why is this? Not only is it entirely isolated and help is nowhere to be found, it's really fucking cold.
Brr.
As my Father would say, Antarctica is located on "the bum of the planet" therefore it receives very little sunlight. And you and I both know that horror movies are scariest when they're in the dark! So a team of scientists, etc, are called forth when an interesting discovery is made... a Space ship, that is. And a specimen.
[Insert spooky oooooo sound here]
So in case you were unaware,The Thing is in fact an alien movie. And I think it's a fantastic alien movie. Not only is it quite similar to the classic Alien, but it also has a demonic possession feeling to it.
This movie does an excellent job at drawing you in, right from the start. The idea in this movie is that the Alien has the ability to take the form of the last being it kills. So naturally, the monster could be anyone at the base...
Well this is awkward.
My brother and I turned into hardcore detectives during this film. We were practically documenting everybody's whereabouts on a freakin' clipboard for the duration of the film. We'd pause and take attendance, just like Middle School. We were Sherlock and Watson. The baddest brother/sister alien detection squad there ever was.
So I suppose its fair to say that this movie is extremely gripping. Either that or my brother and I got way too intense and enjoyed the movie too much. Now, I'd like to mention something. Whenever I pick a favorite character in a movie, they're always doomed. Doomed to die a terrible death. Example:
Favorite:
Thomas Kretschmann as Major Cain in Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Result:
Nibbled by Zombies.
Favorite:
♥Tim Roth as Mr. Orange in Reservoir Dogs♥
Result:
Bleeding to death
Favorite:
John Hurt as Kane in Alien
Result:
Alien bursts through chest.
etc.
Despite my unfortunate talent for getting the guys I declare my favorite inmovieskilled , I continually insist on picking favesies. And I picked a favorite in The Thing.
*Facepalm*
I couldn't resist! He was really hot in a Tim Roth sort of way so I had to declare that he was my favorite.
This is he.
Mmmmmm! Me likey! Me likey! He's British. I love his character's snarky attitude. And since I never really picked up on his name through the film, I named him myself. I called him:
My Babe.
Though he was mostly called My Babe, he was also referred to as "The Brit" in my bro and I's attendance calls.
Shush your mouth, we're taking attendance!
Seriously, though. Don't you agree? Isn't he fantastic? He's hot and he's got a bad attitude. He's the kind of guy that would be allowed to bring handcuffs into my bedroom, if you know what I mean.
You can adore his face at 1:34. He's the one on the far right:
And here he is gnawing on gum and being a friendly mofugga at the premier:
I've gotten off track.
Where was I going with this? Ah, yes. Favorites. Doomed.
I'm sorry I killed you! Waa. *Icecream*
In all seriousness, My Babe aside, this is a really great film. It's even more fun when you get into it like my brother and I did. My Bro pretty much had his shit together. He had it all figured out, he knew what the deal was, he kept tabs on the characters, he was on the ball. Me, not so much. I spent most of the movie realizing I probably wouldn't make it that long. While my brother was the Bear Grylls of Antarctica and Aliens, I was like:
I WOULD HAVE DIED.
Not to mention I would likely spend the entire time bitching about the weather.
I'm cold! Its snowing! I wanna go home! Give me hot chocolate! I can't find my warm socks! Pay attention to me! I'm cold! I can see my breath! Someone lend me their jacket! Don't actually give me your jacket, you'll freeze! I'm cold! BRR! It's really fucking Brr outside! I want hot chocolate! I want to be in Mexico! Why isn't it nice outside? Someone light a fire!
Etc.
I'd pretty much be the first to go. So I'll just enjoy my position as the observer and cheer for My Babe as he fights aliens in the frigid cold.
Ok, I keep trying to get serious but the tequila that's still lingering in my system is prohibiting that.
Let's put it this way, the first bit of the movie is actually really grody. Its scary as hell and you can't help but cringe and consider turning off the TV/ encouraging the characters to get on the helicopter while they still have a chance. The scene where we see the shower is actually horrifying (and that's coming from someone who is not squeamish at the sight of blood in the slightest bit).
You do have to pay attention though, as the characters can be a bit tricky to keep tabs on: Who is Lars, again? Is he the guy with the beard? <--- My point.
Although I have never seen John Carpenter's The Thing (I know, a movie sin) I get the feeling that it might be scarier than this new one. Though of course I cannot actually say this, as I have not seen it. This new movie is supposedly the Prequel to Carpenter's. I am rather excited to see the 80's version. I was once told to watch The Thing while its snowing outside, as it "heightens the tension". Believe it or not it's not actually snowing up here in the Great White North, so I'll just have to make do without.
The Final Word: I recommend it. This movie was fun and there were a number of scenes that surprised me so bad I either jumped out of my skin or screamed a little (or both). BUT if you're excited that this movie takes place in Antarctica because thats where the Penguins live, I'll tell you that you shouldn't get your hopes up, as the penguins had enough sense to get the hell outta dodge.
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