Sexy... Sunday? Ryan Gosling!

Oh My Goodness Readers I am so sorry! I missed your favorite day of the week!

Sexy Saturday!

But what's a girl to do? Yesterday I was so busy freezing my buns off in this insufferable Canadian Climate that I didn't have time to bring you the libido-boosting post I know you all crave. 

In these temperatures, a girl needs two things: Underarmour and a warm boyfriend.

 

In other news, Hot Chelle Rae's one hit wonder "Tonight Tonight" happens to be stuck in my head. And I honestly don't know what to make of this. 

It's been a really really messed up week... 

No.  

^Your face now that Tonight Tonight is stuck in your head too

 So, dear readers, my apologies for moving at a glacial pace and taking an ice-age to bring you your Sexy Saturday.  Without further ado, I'd like to bring to you this week's gorgeous man-god (who happens to be a Belated Birthday Boy aswell): 

Ryan Gosling!

Holy shit.

Readers, let me tell you something. It is very hard to give me butterflies. I can only think of two human beings I have met in the flesh that have done this to me. On top of that, very few celebrities have achieved this. Let me tell you, Ryan Gosling gives me butterflies. Hardcore.

Ryan Thomas Gosling was born on the 12th of November, 1980. Wanna hear something awesome? 

HE'S CANADIAN. 

F*ck yeah, EH! 

Gosling was born in London, Ontario to Thomas and Donna Gosling. He has an older sister, and was raised in a Mormon Household. Gosling's parents divorced when he was a child. 

Apparently, Ryan was diagnosed with ADHD and he was placed in a Special Needs class. 

Special-Ed with Ryan Gosling! Teeheeheehee

So let's talk about Ryan Gosling's Filmogrophy. Every one and their mother knows he starred in The Notebook (Which I haven't seen...) But what else has he been in? Where can we catch more Ryan Gosling screen-time? Allow me to educate you.

Remember the Titans (2000)

The Believer (2001) 

The Slaughter Rule (2002)

Murder by Numbers (2002)

The United States of Leland (2003)

The Notebook (2004)

Stay (2005) 

Half Nelson (2006) 

Fracture (2007) 

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

... I wanted to omit this.

Blue Valentine (2010)

All the good things (2010) 

Drive (2011) 

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011) 

The Ides of March (2011)

And that is all. For now. 

Ok, I'm sorry, but can I just take a second here to talk about how  

freakin' hot he is??? 

My clothes took themselves off, I swear.

I mean, I want to deliver a quality post full of fun facts and intelligent jokes. But... 

THIS: 

Keeps getting in the way. 

Ok. Serious now. Let's talk about his charities. As it turns out, this cutie is a real charitable guy. And here at the Cinema Club, we like that. A lot. 

Gosling dips into his wallet for Invisible Children, PETA, SickKids Foundation, and Silverlake Conservatory of Music.

GEEZUS!

*Shiver*

 I.... I'm speechless. I really don't have much to say. All I can really formulate in my mind is an incomprehensible mush of vowels and half-words. Kinda like this: 

fhsjdhfsi'ghdnshikhfbah<3

The Top 3 Reasons Why I Love Ryan Gosling:

1. He looks like a sexy Tim Roth x Thomas Kretschmann Hybrid 
2. Blonde hair and blue eyed boys make me melt 
3. He is both talented and charitable 

  

I suppose it would be prudent to mention that he also makes Music. That's right, kids. Not only does he act, but he also sings. And he's actually pretty good. Dead Man's Bones. Look 'em up. 

Jesus Christ! You're good with kids too?? Marry me already!

Alright. I suppose we've drooled over this poor man enough already. It's time to put this Sexy Saturday to an end. But first... 

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, RYAN GOSLING! 

 

El Capitain OUT! 

This is just too cute. <3

1/2 step away from losing my mind/ Top 10 Movie Meltdowns

FRUSTRATION.

I am currently experiencing extreme

FRUSTRATION.

Someone is really hurting my feelings right now and I just don't know how to handle it.

Readers, I haven't felt this bent out of Shape since I first saw Mr. White kill Mr. Orange a few years ago. 

This broke my heart. </3. My soul bled. Profusely. For days.

I really truly wish I could turn myself into an emotionless husk of a human being. That way, I would be safe from any sort of heart ache and/or disappointment. Anyone wanna join me? 

YES!

    OK. Awesome.

I'm not entirely sure what we're going to do now, because emotion is the core of the human experience. Great. Now we're screwed. I suppose there really is only one thing left to do....  

BLOG ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS ON TEH INTERNET!!!1!!1! 

Trolling = success

Nah, I kid. 

The Internet is no place for people's problems. 

The Internet is a place for this cat.

Instead, I'm throwing together yet another Top 10 List.

Today's countdown?

Top 10 Movie Meltdowns.

You see, I hope that by blogging about other people's meltdowns, I can avoid taking part in one myself. 

Because feeling like this sucks.

  

Top 10 Movie Meltdowns

10. Arnold Schwarzenegger's Spazz Attack in Kindergarten Cop

SHUT UP!!!

Even his scream has an accent. Now that's impressive. This is a particularly fantastical freak-out, and I believe nobody pulls off a tantrum better than Schwarzenegger. After being stuck in a classroom full of rotten, screeching misbehaving children, Schwarzenegger's character finally reaches his breaking point. And the outcome is pretty awesome. View the wrath of Schwarzenegger HERE.

9. Dwayne's Meltdown in Little Miss Sunshine

You can't help but feel bad for the guy. His dreams of joining the Air force have just been crushed. This is a situation I can completely relate to. Although, mind you, I didn't run down a hill screaming at the top of my lungs. I suffered in silence then went to University.  

8. The Matchmaker's rage in Mulan 

Was that really necessary? Kay just wondering. 

7. Happy's Freakout in Happy Gilmore

So pretty much all of Happy Gilmore's freak-outs are AMAZING, but this one is my favorite. This also doubles as one of the funniest clips I've ever seen. Though I suppose out of context it just looks like an epic tantrum.  

6. Parker's Meltdown in Frozen

Ok, so this meltdown is completely, 100% justified. I can almost guarantee that I would react the exact same way, if my boyfriend was being eaten alive by wolves. Only I think that perhaps I would have jumped from that chairlift in a stupid as hell attempt to save his life. And end up as wolf-chow in the process. But really, this movie meltdown is really... intense.

5. Ted the Bellhop's Rant on the phone in Four Rooms

So I love Tim Roth. Like, a lot. He's my favorite. Well... yeah, ok. He and Thomas Kretschmann are both my favorite. Upon mentioning this to a dear friend of mine, he said to me "Ewwww now I'm picturing you in bed with a couple of old men" to which I laughed hysterically. Anyways! Tim Roth is a brilliant actor. We all know this. And this scene in the hilarious movie Four Rooms is one of his best performances. Here he is, after the most eventful shift of his life, ranting on the phone to Margaret. I love this scene so much. The squeaking and cracking of his voice and his hysterical facial expressions... priceless.

4. Cameron Destroying his Dad's car in Ferris Bueller's Day off

Yes, parents can be extremely frustrating. Though trashing your Dad's Ferrari is a step on the... wild side...

3.Mae Whitman's tantrum in Hope Floats

I cannot this clip online, nor can I find a picture from this scene. But believe me, it was very heart breaking. Mae Whitman's character is named Bernice Pruitt. Bernice's parents have recently split up, and she's been living with her mom. After her grandmother's funeral, her father comes by to ask for a divorce. Confused with the situation, Bernice runs after her dad, begging him to take her with him. Her father refuses. This little innocent girl holding a bunny rabbit doll with big wonky glasses begging her father to take her with him. He throws her luggage out of the car and slams the car door in her face. At this point, this little girl is bawling and crying, begging her father to take her. He drives away, leaving her sobbing in the street. Really, if this doesn't make you feel bad I don't know what will. Needless to say, Whitman's acting was superb. 

2. Ewan McGregor's Sobfest in Moulin Rouge

When men cry, I can't help but cry too. There's something about when a guy that normally has it together really loses it an erupts in sobs that just gets me right in the heart. When I first saw Moulin Rouge, I absolutely bawled my eyes out alongside Ewan McGregor at the end. And that's impressive, because I didn't like Nicole Kidman's Character. AT ALL. No, it was the absolute agony that Ewan McGregor threw at us. The whirlwind of sobbing pain. McGregor has the best man cry I've ever heard. Witness the trauma HERE.

1. Bruno Ganz's epic Freakout in Der Untergang (Downfall)

I absolutely love this movie. And frankly, Bruno Ganz does the best portrayal of Hitler I have ever seen. Ever. He is amazing. And this scene proves this. This is, easily, the most epic meltdown in movie history. 

____________

And now 4 minutes and 13 seconds of Nicolas Cage being, well, Nicolas Cage.

10 Movie Scenes that make me laugh like an idiot

Readers, I have been in the strangest mood these past few days! 

Yes, really. 

I'm honestly feeling probably every single emotion known to man all at once! It feels a bit like this: 

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON INSIDE MY BRAIN???

I won't go into details... (one must remain mysterious on the internet), but allow me to perform a simple mathematical equation, to help you understand. (Because here at the Cinema Club, we're all gifted mathematicians!) 

*ahem*

1adventure x 3(24) + cute boy x airplanes = happiness/stress = confused + hockey + Cheeky Finn = happy + Tim Hortons x chocolate + fluffy kitty = glee - lack of texting(2) = depressed. √depression = 5. 5(-1[cold weather]) + belly ache = misery - 1200mg Advil + T3 + ponies = 

A VERY ODD MOOD.  ✓

My math is immaculate.

Now, my best friend Parachutefan would recommend drinking tea. According to her, tea fixes everything. Yeah, she sounds like a Tetley Commercial. I personally think that the best way to overcome any sort of bad mood is by laughing. So here I have compiled a list of 10 movie scenes that make me laugh. Like a crazy person. 

Hilarity ensues.

The following clips are in no particular order.

 Enjoy.  

10. Daddy would you like some sausages?

From Freddy Got Fingered

 Now, I've never actually seen Tom Green's Freddy Got Fingered, but back in High School a guy in my class was playing this scene on his computer. And was giggling. Uncontrollably. I asked to see what he was looking at, and... well... I started laughing too. This clip always cracks me up. Like, hardcore cracks me up. I don't know what it is about a bunch of sausages hanging from strings and a very poorly played keyboard that's so funny, but it just works. PS: I think this scene is almost funnier if you've never seen the movie. Because we have no idea what the hell is going on. And it's hilarious.  

 

9. Dug's Squirrel Joke

From UP

"HA! It is funny because the squirrel is dead!"

Priceless.

8. I'm in a glass case of emotion!

From Anchorman

I love the movie Anchorman. It had me laughing from start to finish. This particular scene, where Ron Burgundy is bawling in a telephone booth after his dog, Baxter, was punted off a bridge by none other than Jack Black- is particularly hysterical. "I hit him with a burrito!" and "I'M TRAPPED IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!" It doesn't get any better than that. 

(The extended clip is available here: [Link])

7. She took a nosedive from the Ugly Tree

From Saving Private Ryan

Alright, so we all know that Sexy Saturday alumnus Matt Damon is adorable. And he is also very funny. And his laugh? Oh his laugh is contagious! He laughs and smiles, and you can't help but laugh and smile with him. This particular scene from Spielberg's masterpiece Saving Private Ryan is very well written and well acted. It is more or less impossible to watch this scene without at least cracking a smile.

6. I just couldn't get the ball in the hole!

From Happy Gilmore

Happy Gilmore is one of my favorite movies, and easily my favorite Adam Sandler flick. I think this scene is exceptionally comical. I don't beat people up often at all... but when the next opportunity rolls around, I'm doing it like this. 

5. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of Elderberries!
From Monty Python and the Holy Grail

So Monty Python is hilarious, and this entire film had us all in stitches. But I believe it is the insulting Frenchmen that really take the cake. FECHER LA VACHE! 

4. The Printer Smash Scene

From Office Space

Does this look familiar to anyone? Hmm? Even if you haven't seen Office Space, you've probably seen this before. In that episode of Family Guy when Brian and Stewie destroy Peter's Surfin' Bird Record. I find the whole drama of this scene to be particularly funny and very well done. And I'm almost positive all of us have wanted to do that to a printer before. Because as we know, Printers are Brats.

3. Tom Cruise's dance

From Tropic Thunder

If you've seen Tropic Thunder, you know that every line out of Tom Cruise's mouth was insanely profane, atrocious and outright hilarious. But it was the final scene of the movie, when Tom Cruise gets gets his groove on, that had me in stitches. It was because of this movie (and this scene in particular) that I now respect Tom Cruise. Best. Performance. Ever. 

2. HEY! There are skittles in there!

From The Hangover

My inner dude comes out when I say that I thought The Hangover was heeelariouuuss. During my High School Graduation Ceremony, the calculus teacher actually [slightly] modified Alan's One Man Wolf Pack Speech and presented it in front of our grad class and our families. He somehow related it to graduating but I can't remember how. Anyways, it was hysterical. I always knew he was a cool teacher but that just affirmed this fact for the rest of time. Anyways, this scene, where Alan's man-purse (or "satchel") is thrown to the ground and stomped on and Alan screams "HEY! There are skittles in there!" I can't help but laugh. The urgency with which he defended those skittles is just ridiculous. Whoever wrote that joke is amazing. Just like the Calc teacher.

1. Three Point Turn

From Austin Powers

You know the expression LMAO? Right, well I practically did that while watching this scene. I almost puked I was laughing so hard. And when he gets the car completely jammed? I very nearly ROFLed. This scene goes down as comedy gold in my books.

And thus concludes The Cinema Club's article on hilarious movie scenes. I hope this brought you as much joy as it did to me, and you just don't think I have a demented sense of humor. :) 

I wish he was my uncle.

El Capitain OUT!

A la douce memoire de Maxime St-Cyr, Comedien