I believe it was around this time, one year ago, that The Cinema Club was born.
That makes us One Year Old.
So we're having a little birthday party. Because really, here at the Cinema Club, we'll take any excuse to party. And so far it's been great. We've invited all Sexy Saturday alumni, and they've brought stacks of gifts.
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Timmy put on a floral apron and baked the cake |
Russell Crowe brought whipped cream and he and Jamie Bell got into a whipped cream fight. Both of them are completely covered. Meanwhile, Spike Lee is the DJ and Ryan Gosling is sitting in the bathtub.
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Hey, girl. Care to join me? |
We've got lots of alcohol here at The Cinema Club office, and it's getting pretty hot in here. Thomas Kretschmann and I wanted to do tequila shots, but Jason Statham tried to talk us out of it, because he was DD for the night and he didn't want anyone to puke in his sporty car. Thomas and I replied with:
and proceeded to do shots. Next thing we knew Gerard Butler yelled "THIS IS SPARTA!" and accidentally kicked Jamie Bell out the window. We had to go collect him off the sidewalk and he was less than pleased.
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I am most displeased. |
To make it up to him, we had Gerard Butler give him a cupcake and then everything was ok. Meanwhile, Wayne Knight showed up because he heard there would be food, and Jerry got pretty pissed.
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fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu |
So I had to have a little chit chat with security and find out why on Earth they'd let Wayne Knight into our party. Then Rutger Hauer started playing drinking games with Gosling, and Toby Maguire was trying to see which of the female guests would actually believe he is a doctor. Things were getting a little bit out of hand, but all was interrupted when Timmy accidentally burnt the cake. So Wayne was all:
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JESUS. There won't be any cake!!! |
But Tim just says:
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Fuck you I followed the recipe. |
So Wayne puts on the floral apron and takes Timmy's place in the kitchen. We all wait at the table like:
As we're waiting for the cake, Ryan Gosling asks if anybody would like to play spin the bottle and I'm like:
Then Timmy gets a little too excited and looks at Gary Oldman like:
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Gary Oldman Let's DO IT. |
But then Wayne Knight finished the cake and everyone just devours it like this:
We've hardly finished our cake when Gary Oldman decides he wants to take Timmy up on his offer. So as they're making out on the table all our male guests are like:
So we move over to the next room and decide to do more shots. Liam Neeson ends up drinking everyone under the table and by 3am we're all pretty exhausted. So Jason Statham, our DD, gets everyone in the car and we leave the Cinema Club office in style.
They see us rollin', they hatin'.
But before we go home we stop at a Tim Horton's joint and drink hot chocolate in our inebriated state. Rutger Hauer looks especially adorable.